Tag: writing

absurd politics, Celebrity, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State & Local

EXCLUSIVE: Trone’s ICE Protest Attendance Upgraded to Phase II Invisibility — Now Featuring 5G Hologram Cena Units

David Trone’s campaign responds to criticism about staff absence at an ICE protest, claiming they operated in “Cena Mode” using John Cena-inspired clones for invisibility. This satire suggests innovative tactics like “Quantum Protest Presence” and highlights mixed public reactions, with supporters praising efficiency while skeptics question legitimacy. Continue reading EXCLUSIVE: Trone’s ICE Protest Attendance Upgraded to Phase II Invisibility — Now Featuring 5G Hologram Cena Units

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Democrazy, Politics, Satire, Sports & Whatever

No Escaping the Scoreboard: How American Sports Hijacked Budget Season

The intertwining of sports and politics has grown pronounced, with lawmakers increasingly referencing sports culture during discussions on budget and fiscal discipline. Instead of productive debates, sessions resemble chaotic sporting events, with bipartisan jabs and metaphorical excess. Ultimately, budgets are passed amid a backdrop of disillusionment, leaving the national debt unaddressed. Continue reading No Escaping the Scoreboard: How American Sports Hijacked Budget Season

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Arts & Entertainment, Bach's Boombox, Cultural Meltdowns, Politics

The Sound of Silence (But Louder): Conservatives Confront the Streaming Apocalypse

America’s conservatives are facing a cultural crisis as major streaming platforms now feature only Kid Rock, Nicki Minaj, and Lee Greenwood, following widespread boycotts spurred by anti-ICE protests. The resulting limited playlists have driven frustrations among listeners, prompting some to seek new music while advocacy groups launch initiatives to expand song choices. Continue reading The Sound of Silence (But Louder): Conservatives Confront the Streaming Apocalypse

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Black History Month, Presented by the Democratic Opposition Research Committee

Black History Month has shifted from celebrating historical achievements to being a political tool for Democrats, often framing historical figures as weapons against Republicans. There’s a loss of nuance in understanding Black history, as it becomes a platform for partisan messaging, reduced to sound bites while real substance is overlooked. Continue reading Black History Month, Presented by the Democratic Opposition Research Committee

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, State & Local

Baltimore Bans Snow Chairs After Mayor Scott Drops the Policy Bars in a Rap Verse

Baltimore Mayor Brandon Scott addressed the city’s snow-day parking controversy through a rap track, declaring parking space savers illegal. Despite residents’ longstanding claims over street spots, the mayor’s message emphasized compliance with city rules. Response from the community was mixed, with some residents firmly attached to their chairs. Enforcement will proceed alongside the musical message. Continue reading Baltimore Bans Snow Chairs After Mayor Scott Drops the Policy Bars in a Rap Verse

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, New York, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Mayor Mamdani Announces Free Snow Weekend for NYC — No Strings, Just Slush

New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced a controversial initiative granting all city residents free snow this weekend with no application or verification process. While touted as a human right, the plan raised concerns over snow removal costs and logistics. Critics, including landlords and small business owners, expressed confusion and skepticism about the overarching implications. Continue reading Mayor Mamdani Announces Free Snow Weekend for NYC — No Strings, Just Slush

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Culture & Absurdity, immigration, Internet Meltdowns, Satire

Local Man Loves ICE More Than Ever (Again), Announces New “More Than Ever” Record

A local man has humorously intensified his support for ICE, declaring he stands with the agency “more than ever than the last more than ever.” His enthusiasm, likened to compound interest, rises after various stimuli, including political statements or social media protests. Friends note this marks his ninth consecutive declaration since 2018. Continue reading Local Man Loves ICE More Than Ever (Again), Announces New “More Than Ever” Record

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Culture & Absurdity, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Maryland Lands the Sphere, Immediately Forgets the Electricity

Maryland Governor Wes Moore announced the “Powerless Ball,” a replica of Las Vegas’ Sphere, which cannot be powered due to electricity shortages. Moore framed it as a metaphor for governance and sustainability. Despite being unlit, the venue emphasizes environmental concerns and is marketed as a carbon-neutral attraction, reflecting Maryland’s energy challenges. Continue reading Maryland Lands the Sphere, Immediately Forgets the Electricity

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Bach's Boombox, Celebrity, Culture & Absurdity, Entertainment, History, Satire

Dilbert Finally Escapes the Cubicle: A Tribute to Scott Adams

Scott Adams revolutionized the depiction of corporate life through his comic Dilbert, highlighting the absurdities of middle management and workplace dynamics long before it was mainstream. His work resonated as a candid reflection of office realities, granting audiences permission to critique dysfunction with humor. With his passing, Adams leaves a legacy that endures. Continue reading Dilbert Finally Escapes the Cubicle: A Tribute to Scott Adams

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment