Tag: Politics

Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity

World’s Most Sensitive Musicians Forced to Cancel Concerts Because Building Words Hurt Their Feelings

A group of highly principled musicians bravely cancel their Kennedy Center performances after discovering the building now contains words they don’t like. In a stunning stand for artistic integrity, several artists prove once and for all that nothing threatens creative freedom quite like signage. Continue reading World’s Most Sensitive Musicians Forced to Cancel Concerts Because Building Words Hurt Their Feelings

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Law Enforcement, Maryland, public safety

Baltimore Solves Crime by Running Out of People Who Can Be Murdered

Baltimore is celebrating its lowest murder rate in 48 years, proving once and for all that crime can be solved either through meaningful reform—or by sheer exhaustion and selective attention. When shootings and stabbings become background noise, even murder can slip quietly out of the headlines. Continue reading Baltimore Solves Crime by Running Out of People Who Can Be Murdered

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Congress, democrats, Government, History, Politics, Washington absurdity

Democrats Announce January 6, 2026 Hearing to Mark Fifth Anniversary of “The Vibe Shift”

House Democrats plan a solemn commemorative hearing for January 6, 2026, marking the fifth anniversary of the January 6 Capitol events, which they call a near-democratic collapse. This hearing will emphasize the importance of voting to prevent similar incidents, despite critiques of its necessity and format. Democrats assert it’s vital to remember this event annually. Continue reading Democrats Announce January 6, 2026 Hearing to Mark Fifth Anniversary of “The Vibe Shift”

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Politics, Satire, Secondhand Service, Washington absurdity, world leaders

Democrats Furious After Trump Drone-Strikes Biden’s Toy Boat at Delaware Beach

Democratic leaders condemned Donald Trump after a U.S. drone mistakenly destroyed Joe Biden’s toy boat on a Delaware beach, which Trump justified as a narcotics threat. Despite bipartisan outrage over the strike’s recklessness, Trump remained unapologetic, claiming it demonstrated military precision. Biden was unharmed but shaken, and the White House has not addressed potential replacements. Continue reading Democrats Furious After Trump Drone-Strikes Biden’s Toy Boat at Delaware Beach

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Florida, Global News, Politics, Satire, world leaders

Mar-a-Lago Peace Summit Collapses After Tonka Truck Dispute Over Who Gets the Big Yellow Dump Truck

Donald Trump hosted an unconventional peace summit at Mar-a-Lago with Vladimir Putin, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, and Benjamin Netanyahu, using Tonka trucks as props. Trump facilitated playful negotiations over vehicle ownership and infrastructure, but tensions flared after an accidental incident with a plastic ambulance. The summit ended with Trump claiming significant progress. Continue reading Mar-a-Lago Peace Summit Collapses After Tonka Truck Dispute Over Who Gets the Big Yellow Dump Truck

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Habeas Circus, Judicial, Satire

Family Court’s Hottest Holiday Deals: Don’t Miss the End-of-Year Trauma Clearance Sale

As year-end approaches, family court professionals are promoting “End-of-Year Litigation Specials.” Services include discounted custody evaluations, bundled mental health packages, and flat-fee legal services. Judges are accelerating assignments, ensuring families enter the new year burdened with conflict and financial strain. Procrastination may lead to higher costs in January. Continue reading Family Court’s Hottest Holiday Deals: Don’t Miss the End-of-Year Trauma Clearance Sale

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Maryland, Press & Free Speech

The Onion Declares War on Local Vegetables, Crushes Maryland Satire Site in Defense of Corporate Humor Monopoly

The Onion has taken a stand against a small Maryland satire site, Montgonion, claiming trademark dilution. After receiving a cease-and-desist, the site rebranded to Montgomery Leek, highlighting the absurdity of corporate control in comedy. This incident underscores the tension between creative freedom and commercial interests in satire. Long live the Leek. Continue reading The Onion Declares War on Local Vegetables, Crushes Maryland Satire Site in Defense of Corporate Humor Monopoly

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Law Enforcement, New York, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani Names FDNY Commissioner With Zero Firefighting Experience, Says ‘Lived Experience With Alarm Clocks Is Enough’

Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani promised to rethink public safety, and New York got exactly that—by naming an FDNY commissioner whose strongest qualification appears to be strong opinions and zero firefighting experience. Critics say it’s reckless. Supporters say it’s “historic.” Fires, meanwhile, remain unconvinced. Continue reading Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani Names FDNY Commissioner With Zero Firefighting Experience, Says ‘Lived Experience With Alarm Clocks Is Enough’

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Maryland, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Breaking: Wes Moore Announces Bold Redistricting Plan to Escape HOA Dues

Maryland Governor Wes Moore introduced a controversial redistricting proposal aimed at addressing homeowner association fees, claiming it promotes equity and representation. Critics argue it’s gerrymandering for personal gain, while supporters see it as innovative governance. The plan may redefine district lines to eliminate certain HOA fees for Moore’s neighborhood, sparking debate. Continue reading Breaking: Wes Moore Announces Bold Redistricting Plan to Escape HOA Dues

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Habeas Circus, Satire

Public Defender Accused of “Doing Their Job,” Triggering Crisis Across Los Angeles Legal System

A Los Angeles public defender faces accusations for allegedly performing their duties by filing motions and challenging evidence without prior approvals. This behavior has unsettled court officials, leading to emergency trainings to combat “over-lawyering.” The defender maintains innocence, raising concerns about the future of representation in a system prioritizing efficiency over justice. Continue reading Public Defender Accused of “Doing Their Job,” Triggering Crisis Across Los Angeles Legal System

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment