Tag: Politics

Holidays, Satire, Washington absurdity

Congress Declares Christmas Recess to Investigate Whether Christmas Is Still Allowed

Congress is holding a special Christmas Recess to investigate the constitutional status of Christmas, citing its growing complexity and controversy. While Santa Claus testifies on issues like the Naughty List, bipartisan concern for holiday oversight has emerged. A $47 billion fund is proposed for emissions standards, but the inquiry is expected to extend until Easter. Continue reading Congress Declares Christmas Recess to Investigate Whether Christmas Is Still Allowed

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
California, Government, Government Waste, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics

While Trump Commissions Destroyers, Newsom Commissions Bills

Donald Trump announced the commissioning of new U.S. Navy destroyers named after him, designed to project American military power. In response, California Governor Gavin Newsom introduced a series of legislative bills targeting economic stability. While Trump focuses on defense, Newsom’s initiatives may threaten affordability for Californians, showcasing two contrasting political strategies. Continue reading While Trump Commissions Destroyers, Newsom Commissions Bills

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Uncategorized

Maryland Commissions New Study to Determine Whether Last Study Was Ready to Be Studied

Maryland has once again proven its commitment to evidence-based inaction, as Governor Wes Moore announces a brand-new study to determine whether the last study was sufficiently prepared to be studied. Officials insist it’s not a delay—it’s “sequencing.” Continue reading Maryland Commissions New Study to Determine Whether Last Study Was Ready to Be Studied

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
democrats, Global News, Government, Health & Medical, immigration, Nationality, Satire

Citizenship-Affirming Care? Democrats Now Pushing “Legalization Surgery” for Illegal Immigrants

In a dazzling feat of medical and political innovation, Democrats have unveiled their latest passion project: citizenship-affirming care. Why bother with borders or boring paperwork when you can just inject a little U.S.A. directly into the bloodstream? While Republicans are still trying to figure out whether this is an SNL sketch or actual legislation, progressives insist this is a breakthrough in “identity-based immigration.” After all, if you feel American, why shouldn’t a government-funded operation make it official — preferably before the next election. Continue reading Citizenship-Affirming Care? Democrats Now Pushing “Legalization Surgery” for Illegal Immigrants

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
ADR, family court, Satire

BREAKING NEWS: Judges Demand Therapy After ADR Collapse

America’s Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) system collapsed, resulting in judges’ confusion and panic as they struggled to adapt to traditional trials. Eyewitness accounts depict chaotic scenes in courthouses. Both judges and attorneys face challenges adjusting to constitutional requirements, prompting calls for emotional support and retraining to navigate the new legal landscape. Continue reading BREAKING NEWS: Judges Demand Therapy After ADR Collapse

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Uncategorized

Pong for the People: How Your Tax Dollars Are Playing a Never-Ending Game with an Illegal Alien Criminal

ANNAPOLIS, MD – Somewhere between logic and liberal lunacy, Maryland and the U.S. government have found themselves locked in the most expensive game of Pong ever played. Except instead of bouncing pixels, they’re volleying an already-deported illegal alien criminal back and forth across international borders – and guess what? You’re paying for every bounce. This is the story of how your federal and state government … Continue reading Pong for the People: How Your Tax Dollars Are Playing a Never-Ending Game with an Illegal Alien Criminal

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Politics, Satire

🧼 The Great American Virtue Olympics: Which State Virtue Signals the Most?

The 2025 Virtue Signaling State Rankings critique states like California, New York, and Massachusetts for prioritizing performative activism over meaningful governance. Through examples like California’s plastic straw ban and New York’s inclusive bagel guidelines, the post highlights how leaders focus on appearances while neglecting real issues, creating a “look good” culture. Continue reading 🧼 The Great American Virtue Olympics: Which State Virtue Signals the Most?

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democrats, Maryland, Satire

Maryland Man with 47 Felonies Crowned “Man of the Year” by Progressive Think Tank

Baltimore, MD – A Maryland man known only as “Duke Fresh,” who rose through the ranks of organized crime, human trafficking, and the local PTA, was honored Thursday night at a gala hosted by The Institute for Progressive Empathy™ as the 2025 “Man of the Year.” Duke, whose rap sheet is longer than the MARC Train schedule, has previously served time for racketeering, goat theft, … Continue reading Maryland Man with 47 Felonies Crowned “Man of the Year” by Progressive Think Tank

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democrats, Satire, voter outreach

BREAKING: DNC Study Finds Men Like Beer, Tools, and Not Being Called ToxicBy Political Party Animals News Desk

The Democratic National Committee launched a $20 million initiative to improve communication with American men, particularly blue-collar voters. Key findings emphasize avoiding pronouns and negative phrases, using relatable language, and offering incentives like snacks. The report humorously suggests that simply asking about men’s days can foster better connections. Continue reading BREAKING: DNC Study Finds Men Like Beer, Tools, and Not Being Called ToxicBy Political Party Animals News Desk

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Campaigns, Satire

Make Maryland Rave Again: Why It’s Time for Lucifer “Justin Case” Everylove to Lead the Free State into the Glow Age

Michael Phillips praises Lucifer “Justin Case” Everylove’s unique approach as a candidate during his 2024 presidential run, highlighting his grassroots strategy that combines entertainment with progressive ideals. He asserts that Maryland needs Everylove’s bold leadership now more than ever to revitalize governance and inspire innovation, urging support for his candidacy. Continue reading Make Maryland Rave Again: Why It’s Time for Lucifer “Justin Case” Everylove to Lead the Free State into the Glow Age

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment