Maryland has once again proven its commitment to evidence-based inaction, as Governor Wes Moore announces a brand-new study to determine whether the last study was sufficiently prepared to be studied. Officials insist it’s not a delay—it’s “sequencing.” Continue reading Maryland Commissions New Study to Determine Whether Last Study Was Ready to Be Studied
A former dishwasher believes flies are part of a deep state surveillance operation, experiencing paranoia as they multiply and refuse to leave him alone. He suspects their capabilities extend beyond mere pestering and writes to officials for help. Ultimately, he warns about their presence and the threat they represent to personal freedom. Continue reading 🐞 DOMESTIC SURVEILLANCE: THE FLIES HAVE EYES 🐞
America’s Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) system collapsed, resulting in judges’ confusion and panic as they struggled to adapt to traditional trials. Eyewitness accounts depict chaotic scenes in courthouses. Both judges and attorneys face challenges adjusting to constitutional requirements, prompting calls for emotional support and retraining to navigate the new legal landscape. Continue reading BREAKING NEWS: Judges Demand Therapy After ADR Collapse
Mr. Wiggles attended a protest in LA, misunderstanding a dark web ad that instructed him to “act like a riot.” Instead of inciting unrest, he diffused tension with humor and balloon animals, even feeding ICE agents and the National Guard. His actions sparked mixed reactions, prompting a discussion on protest dynamics. Continue reading BREAKING: Mr. Wiggles Shows Up to LA Protest Thinking He Was Hired to “Act Like a Riot,” Ends Up Feeding ICE and National Guard Instead
Maryland State Senator Justin Ready’s public appearances have sparked speculation about a possible presidential run. While he denies any campaign intentions, his activities, such as attending school meetings and engaging with constituents, have led to humorous discourse among locals. Observers note his politeness and competence, raising eyebrows in today’s political climate. Continue reading Is Justin Ready… Running for President? Local Senator Accused of Caring Too Much
Maryland Governor Wes Moore faces scrutiny over claims of using doppelgangers to attend multiple events simultaneously. Reports suggest he may have hired actors to project an omnipresent image. While his office denies the allegations, citizens react with mixed feelings, asking for effective governance regardless of which Moore appears. Continue reading Maryland Gov. Wes Moore Accused of “Pulling a Putin” with Fleet of Stunt Doubles to Attend Local Events
Michael Phillips praises Lucifer “Justin Case” Everylove’s unique approach as a candidate during his 2024 presidential run, highlighting his grassroots strategy that combines entertainment with progressive ideals. He asserts that Maryland needs Everylove’s bold leadership now more than ever to revitalize governance and inspire innovation, urging support for his candidacy. Continue reading Make Maryland Rave Again: Why It’s Time for Lucifer “Justin Case” Everylove to Lead the Free State into the Glow Age
Step aside, deepfakes—Democrats are trying to deep-vibe. In a leaked plan so perfectly predictable it could have been generated by ChatGPT after drinking mushroom tea, Democratic mega-donors are allegedly debating how to engineer a liberal version of Joe Rogan. Yes, you read that right. The party that brought you hashtags like #VoteBlueNoMatterWho now wants to genetically manufacture a bro who deadlifts, smokes weed, worships elk, … Continue reading Operation Bro-hammad: How Democrats Plan to 3D-Print Their Own Joe Rogan
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