Tag: political satire

Politics, voter outreach, Elections, Washington absurdity, Democrazy, Washington DC

Capitol Mystery: Is Mitch McConnell Being Operated by Remote Control?

In 2026, rumors circulate that Senator Mitch McConnell has been “functionally offline” while his staff manipulates the legislative process to block the SAVE Act. Various potential puppet masters, including Senate leaders and the parliamentarian, influence actions silently, revealing a system designed to stall bills, suggesting the Senate operates independently of McConnell. Continue reading Capitol Mystery: Is Mitch McConnell Being Operated by Remote Control?

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Donald Trump, Elections, Politics, S.H.I.T.E. Paper

BREAKING: New Study Finds 12 Million “Closet Trump Democrats” Living Double Lives, Hiding MAGA Hats in Recyclable Tote Bags

A recent poll reveals that many registered Democrats secretly support Donald Trump but fear social repercussions from friends and community. This “Closet MAGAcrat” phenomenon highlights a culture of political concealment linked to social survival, exacerbated by pressures from peers and the psychological influence of figures like Hillary Clinton. Continue reading BREAKING: New Study Finds 12 Million “Closet Trump Democrats” Living Double Lives, Hiding MAGA Hats in Recyclable Tote Bags

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
democrats, Democrazy, Satire

The People’s State of the Onion

Democrats recently launched the People’s State of the Onion, an alternative to the State of the Union that emphasizes emotional expressions over factual reporting. Sponsored by various activist groups, it aims to critique the current presidential administration while hosting by influential figures. This approach raises questions about political norms and the acceptance of election results. Continue reading The People’s State of the Onion

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Democrazy, Environment, Environmental, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics

Breaking: Potomac River Officially Declares Itself “Nonpartisan” After Being Used in Federal Funding Fight

The Potomac River expressed its frustration over political debates about funding while dealing with 300 million gallons of raw sewage. As lawmakers argue over FEMA’s role, the river continues to flow unimpeded. Meanwhile, the Chesapeake Bay struggles with nutrient runoff, highlighting ongoing environmental neglect amidst political rhetoric. Continue reading Breaking: Potomac River Officially Declares Itself “Nonpartisan” After Being Used in Federal Funding Fight

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Environment, Environmental, Maryland, State

“We Were Told Not to Flush Them”: Residents Blame ‘Systemic Failure’ After 10-Ton Baby Wipe Blob Explodes Into Potomac

A massive wastewater pipe in the Potomac River burst due to a hardened mass of flushed baby wipes, prompting calls for accountability from residents who ignored warnings. Despite previous advisories, many blame infrastructure rather than their behavior, leading to protests for upgrades. Cleanup efforts are in progress as awareness campaigns are launched. Continue reading “We Were Told Not to Flush Them”: Residents Blame ‘Systemic Failure’ After 10-Ton Baby Wipe Blob Explodes Into Potomac

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
crime, Cultural Meltdowns, democrats, Politics

BREAKING: Nation Paralyzed by Rampaging Elderly Gay Carjacker Cartel

A humorous critique highlights the absurdity of associating elderly individuals with crime, particularly regarding the term “Democrats.” It juxtaposes fantasies of senior criminal masterminds with the complexities of real-world crime policy, arguing that oversimplified narratives detract from meaningful discussions, reducing political debate to cartoonish stereotypes rather than data-driven solutions. Continue reading BREAKING: Nation Paralyzed by Rampaging Elderly Gay Carjacker Cartel

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, State & Local

Orange-Robed Efficiency: Peace Walk Monks Arrive in Annapolis, Fix Maryland in 5 Minutes

A group of monks on a peace walk inadvertently addressed Maryland’s affordability crisis in just five minutes at the State House, implementing substantial budget cuts and tax reductions with their simple, mindful approach. Their surprising efficiency contrasts sharply with years of bureaucratic efforts, leaving families to wonder why such solutions aren’t commonplace. Continue reading Orange-Robed Efficiency: Peace Walk Monks Arrive in Annapolis, Fix Maryland in 5 Minutes

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, Democrazy, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

After Trump Diss, Democratic Governors Flee to Jackson Hole for “Alternative Dinner” With Supreme Commanders Soros and Clooney

After being excluded from a White House dinner, Democratic governors will host their own event in Jackson Hole featuring notable figures like George Soros and George Clooney. Their gathering promises a more inclusive atmosphere with a locally sourced menu and discussions focused on socialism. Organizers insist this is not a protest. Continue reading After Trump Diss, Democratic Governors Flee to Jackson Hole for “Alternative Dinner” With Supreme Commanders Soros and Clooney

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Politics

Bernie Sanders Declares War on the Thin Mint Industrial Complex

During a grocery store visit, Bernie Sanders passionately criticized the Girl Scouts for their cookie sales, claiming they represent a monopolistic system. He proposed reforms like a price cap and a Senate investigation. Despite his fervor, the scouts remained unfazed, ultimately benefiting from record sales, as Sanders left with cookies for the “movement.” Continue reading Bernie Sanders Declares War on the Thin Mint Industrial Complex

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Democrazy, Politics, Satire, Sports & Whatever

No Escaping the Scoreboard: How American Sports Hijacked Budget Season

The intertwining of sports and politics has grown pronounced, with lawmakers increasingly referencing sports culture during discussions on budget and fiscal discipline. Instead of productive debates, sessions resemble chaotic sporting events, with bipartisan jabs and metaphorical excess. Ultimately, budgets are passed amid a backdrop of disillusionment, leaving the national debt unaddressed. Continue reading No Escaping the Scoreboard: How American Sports Hijacked Budget Season

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment