Tag: political humor

Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity

World’s Most Sensitive Musicians Forced to Cancel Concerts Because Building Words Hurt Their Feelings

A group of highly principled musicians bravely cancel their Kennedy Center performances after discovering the building now contains words they don’t like. In a stunning stand for artistic integrity, several artists prove once and for all that nothing threatens creative freedom quite like signage. Continue reading World’s Most Sensitive Musicians Forced to Cancel Concerts Because Building Words Hurt Their Feelings

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Law Enforcement, Maryland, public safety

Baltimore Solves Crime by Running Out of People Who Can Be Murdered

Baltimore is celebrating its lowest murder rate in 48 years, proving once and for all that crime can be solved either through meaningful reform—or by sheer exhaustion and selective attention. When shootings and stabbings become background noise, even murder can slip quietly out of the headlines. Continue reading Baltimore Solves Crime by Running Out of People Who Can Be Murdered

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Congress, democrats, Government, History, Politics, Washington absurdity

Democrats Announce January 6, 2026 Hearing to Mark Fifth Anniversary of “The Vibe Shift”

House Democrats plan a solemn commemorative hearing for January 6, 2026, marking the fifth anniversary of the January 6 Capitol events, which they call a near-democratic collapse. This hearing will emphasize the importance of voting to prevent similar incidents, despite critiques of its necessity and format. Democrats assert it’s vital to remember this event annually. Continue reading Democrats Announce January 6, 2026 Hearing to Mark Fifth Anniversary of “The Vibe Shift”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Satire, Urban Absurdity, Washington absurdity

See No Evil, Bark No Crime

Democratic leaders are facing backlash for a controversial initiative encouraging them to navigate communities with closed eyes to avoid confronting crime. Dubbed “Vision Zero (But For Vision),” the program aims to manage perceptions of public safety, promoting the idea that unperceived crime does not exist. Critics argue this approach represents willful blindness rather than real governance. Continue reading See No Evil, Bark No Crime

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Law Enforcement, New York, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani Names FDNY Commissioner With Zero Firefighting Experience, Says ‘Lived Experience With Alarm Clocks Is Enough’

Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani promised to rethink public safety, and New York got exactly that—by naming an FDNY commissioner whose strongest qualification appears to be strong opinions and zero firefighting experience. Critics say it’s reckless. Supporters say it’s “historic.” Fires, meanwhile, remain unconvinced. Continue reading Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani Names FDNY Commissioner With Zero Firefighting Experience, Says ‘Lived Experience With Alarm Clocks Is Enough’

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Politics, Satire

Breaking: Kamala Harris Allegedly Declares Herself the Great Cornholio, Demands TP on Brentwood Road

Former Vice President Kamala Harris had a chaotic moment during her book tour, reportedly yelling “I am THE GREAT CORNHOLIO” while wearing a Metallica T-shirt. Eyewitnesses noted an apparent breakdown after she mixed something extra into her wine. The incident sparked mixed reactions among political analysts regarding its impact on her image and upcoming events. Continue reading Breaking: Kamala Harris Allegedly Declares Herself the Great Cornholio, Demands TP on Brentwood Road

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Holidays, poetry, Satire, Washington Christmas Classics

’Twas the Night Before Trump-mas

The poem humorously depicts the frantic energy of Senator Chris Van Hollen on the eve of “Trump-mas.” Filled with outrage, he rushes to address the media, fixating on Donald Trump’s influence and actions. His theatrical condemnation draws attention, revealing his obsession and the relentless cycle of political engagement surrounding Trump. Continue reading ’Twas the Night Before Trump-mas

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Environmental, Holidays, Politics

Santa’s New Naughty List: This Year, Bad Kids Get Windmills Instead of Coal

Santa Claus has replaced traditional coal with eco-friendly punishments for misbehaving children, introducing items like windmills and solar panel kits. This shift aims to promote sustainability and environmental awareness. Reactions from kids and parents vary, with many preferring coal over the practical challenges of renewable energy gifts, despite Santa’s educational intentions. Continue reading Santa’s New Naughty List: This Year, Bad Kids Get Windmills Instead of Coal

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
ADR, family court, Satire

BREAKING NEWS: Judges Demand Therapy After ADR Collapse

America’s Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) system collapsed, resulting in judges’ confusion and panic as they struggled to adapt to traditional trials. Eyewitness accounts depict chaotic scenes in courthouses. Both judges and attorneys face challenges adjusting to constitutional requirements, prompting calls for emotional support and retraining to navigate the new legal landscape. Continue reading BREAKING NEWS: Judges Demand Therapy After ADR Collapse

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Campaigns, Politics, Satire

POLITICAL CIRCUS: Mr. Wiggles Declares Candidacy for Montgomery County Executive, Ties Balloon Elephant in Solidarity

Mr. Wiggles, a disbarred courtroom jester, announced his candidacy for Montgomery County Executive in 2026, aiming for the GOP nomination. His platform includes banning boring bureaucrats and implementing innovative plans like balloon animal accessibility. Despite skepticism about his qualifications, he resonates with some voters, marking a unique political approach. Continue reading POLITICAL CIRCUS: Mr. Wiggles Declares Candidacy for Montgomery County Executive, Ties Balloon Elephant in Solidarity

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment