Amy Klobuchar Announces She’s Ready to Finish the Job on Minnesota

Amy Klobuchar has announced her candidacy for governor of Minnesota, emphasizing “steady leadership” while critics label her approach as lacking accountability. Her campaign platform prioritizes expanding failed policies and dismissing voter concerns. Observers describe her as a continuation of current governance, characterized by institutional inertia and unyielding political niceness. Continue reading Amy Klobuchar Announces She’s Ready to Finish the Job on Minnesota

Minnesota’s Dynamic Duo Hits the Road: The “Yes, We’re Guilty of Fraud – Loud and Clear!” Tour

Minnesota’s progressive power duo hits the road with a “countdown to caucus” tour that feels less like civic engagement and more like a masterclass in scandal-adjacent absurdity. From fake nonprofits to riot-as-distraction theatrics, this satire imagines what would happen if political spin finally stopped pretending. Continue reading Minnesota’s Dynamic Duo Hits the Road: The “Yes, We’re Guilty of Fraud – Loud and Clear!” Tour

Walz of Fury: Minnesota Governor Appears to Challenge Entire Planet to a Fight

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz appears to be challenging the entire country to a fight—political, rhetorical, and possibly imaginary—as he squares off against everyone from national figures to the latest talking-point mascot, all while critics say the fury looks less like courage and more like a very loud distraction. Continue reading Walz of Fury: Minnesota Governor Appears to Challenge Entire Planet to a Fight

Operation Glazed Response: Tim Walz Replaces Law Enforcement With Pastry Diplomacy

Tim Walz, the governor of Minnesota, has faced criticism for deploying the National Guard to distribute donuts instead of restoring order during civil unrest. This response has been mocked as a shift from serious governance to a whimsical approach, where crime management is replaced by distributing snacks, raising concerns about effective leadership and public safety. Continue reading Operation Glazed Response: Tim Walz Replaces Law Enforcement With Pastry Diplomacy

Governor Warren Walz Loses It Again After Someone Touches the Headphones of Power

Minnesota’s Governor Tim Walz experienced a bizarre outburst when approached about his headphones, referred to as The Headphones of Authority™. Witnesses reported his rapid transformation into a defensive figure, aggressively protecting his perceived gubernatorial powers. Analysts suggest adding a warning for press conferences, advising caution around his headphones to avoid potential meltdowns. Continue reading Governor Warren Walz Loses It Again After Someone Touches the Headphones of Power

When Local Egos Block Federal Badges

Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey have faced criticism for treating public safety as a messaging exercise, leading to increased crime. Their reluctance to cooperate with federal law enforcement has created confusion and negligence, prioritizing political ideology over effective governance while leaving communities vulnerable to violent crime. Continue reading When Local Egos Block Federal Badges

Minnesota Faith Leaders Urge Residents to Observe “Sacred Friday” by Absolutely Not Going to Target

Clergy in Minnesota are urging residents to refrain from shopping on Fridays as an act of spiritual resistance against consumerism. A rally on January 23 aims to promote contemplation over retail participation for one day. Critics note the challenge due to practical needs, while the event seeks to highlight values beyond consumption. Continue reading Minnesota Faith Leaders Urge Residents to Observe “Sacred Friday” by Absolutely Not Going to Target

The Boy Who Opened Minneapolis (But Like… the Other One)

In a Minneapolis cul-de-sac, a boy named Nick Shirley discovers his psychokinetic abilities during a standardized test and is taken to a lab for experimentation. There, he accidentally opens a portal to an alternate dimension, Upside Down Minneapolis, where urban legends flourish. After witnessing thriving businesses that defy reality, he ultimately closes the portal, returning to a seemingly normal life. Continue reading The Boy Who Opened Minneapolis (But Like… the Other One)

Vikings Cancel Rest of Season Amid Statewide Chaos, Despite Season Already Being Over

The Minnesota Vikings have officially canceled the remainder of their season due to statewide unrest and fraud investigations, despite already being eliminated from playoff contention. Team leadership highlighted the decision as a symbolic gesture for solidarity, prompting mixed reactions from players and fans, who found the move fitting and proactive. Continue reading Vikings Cancel Rest of Season Amid Statewide Chaos, Despite Season Already Being Over

Walz Heads for the Hills: Minnesota Governor Quits Politics, Discovers His Inner Brokeback Commentator

Tim Walz has withdrawn from the 2026 Minnesota governor’s race, announcing an unusual strategy to “ride” Donald Trump with relentless commentary. This metaphor sparked humor and speculation, comparing their dynamic to cinematic rivalries. As Walz exits politics, he leaves behind an unforgettable quote and a bizarre narrative reminiscent of film plots. Continue reading Walz Heads for the Hills: Minnesota Governor Quits Politics, Discovers His Inner Brokeback Commentator