Creed Announces They Will Be the 2027 Super Bowl Halftime Show, NFL Learns About It on Social Media

Creed boldly announced they will perform at the 2027 Super Bowl halftime show, despite the NFL not selecting a performer. The announcement sparked widespread joy in rural America, with fans expressing emotional support. The NFL is still processing the surprise declaration, sensing its inevitability, as Creed outlines an already planned setlist. Continue reading Creed Announces They Will Be the 2027 Super Bowl Halftime Show, NFL Learns About It on Social Media

Trump Unveils Vision for America’s 250th: A Monumental Set of Golden Arches Over Washington

Donald Trump is planning a monumental tribute for America’s 250th birthday: a massive McDonald’s Golden Arches structure at the National Mall. Described as “historic,” the design includes a drive-thru, a Hall of Condiments, and aims to capture America’s spirit of efficiency. Critics argue it commercializes civic space, while supporters embrace its cultural relevance. Continue reading Trump Unveils Vision for America’s 250th: A Monumental Set of Golden Arches Over Washington

BREAKING: Scientists Confirm Mushroom Makes You See Tiny People, Ireland Nods Politely and Says “We Tried to Tell You”

Researchers have discovered a mushroom that induces vivid hallucinations of tiny humanoid beings, paralleling folklore about “wee folk.” While science cautiously validates old myths, reactions range from indifference in Ireland to commercialization by startups. Experts urge caution before consuming the mushrooms, as they hold potential yet unrealized implications for perception and culture. Continue reading BREAKING: Scientists Confirm Mushroom Makes You See Tiny People, Ireland Nods Politely and Says “We Tried to Tell You”

Marylanders Skip New Year’s Resolutions Amid Rumors Gov. Wes Moore Plans to Tax Them Per Goal

Marylanders, united in a rare bipartisan gesture, decided against New Year’s resolutions amid rumors of a proposed tax on personal goals to address the state’s budget deficit. This plan, dubbed “The Self-Improvement Responsibility Act,” would impose fees based on the ambition of resolutions, prompting creative adaptations by residents. Continue reading Marylanders Skip New Year’s Resolutions Amid Rumors Gov. Wes Moore Plans to Tax Them Per Goal

Mar-a-Lago Peace Summit Collapses After Tonka Truck Dispute Over Who Gets the Big Yellow Dump Truck

Donald Trump hosted an unconventional peace summit at Mar-a-Lago with Vladimir Putin, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, and Benjamin Netanyahu, using Tonka trucks as props. Trump facilitated playful negotiations over vehicle ownership and infrastructure, but tensions flared after an accidental incident with a plastic ambulance. The summit ended with Trump claiming significant progress. Continue reading Mar-a-Lago Peace Summit Collapses After Tonka Truck Dispute Over Who Gets the Big Yellow Dump Truck