Tag: election humor

absurd politics, Donald Trump, Elections, Politics, S.H.I.T.E. Paper

BREAKING: New Study Finds 12 Million “Closet Trump Democrats” Living Double Lives, Hiding MAGA Hats in Recyclable Tote Bags

A recent poll reveals that many registered Democrats secretly support Donald Trump but fear social repercussions from friends and community. This “Closet MAGAcrat” phenomenon highlights a culture of political concealment linked to social survival, exacerbated by pressures from peers and the psychological influence of figures like Hillary Clinton. Continue reading BREAKING: New Study Finds 12 Million “Closet Trump Democrats” Living Double Lives, Hiding MAGA Hats in Recyclable Tote Bags

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, economy, Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, Overreach, Politics, Satire, State, State & Local, virginia

The Hamburglar Takes Richmond: Abigail Spanberger Sworn In, Hamburgs Immediately Missing

This week in Richmond, newly sworn-in Governor Abigail Spanberger sparked chaos as hamburgers mysteriously vanished shortly after her inauguration, earning her the nickname “Hamburglar of Hard-Earned Money.” Her controversial “Spanburger Doctrine” implies confiscating edible goods as “nutritional contributions,” leaving residents bewildered and concerned about a future without safe backyard cookouts. Continue reading The Hamburglar Takes Richmond: Abigail Spanberger Sworn In, Hamburgs Immediately Missing

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Donald Trump, Elections, Government Dysfunction, immigration, Law Enforcement, Minnesota, Politics, Satire, Washington absurdity

Trump Announces ‘Vote Red, Get a Green Card’ Program, Democrats Immediately Call ICE for Tips

In a move that shattered political muscle memory, Donald Trump jokingly offered citizenship to any undocumented immigrant willing to vote Republican—prompting Democrats to immediately reconsider their stance on ICE, borders, and everything they tweeted in the last decade. Continue reading Trump Announces ‘Vote Red, Get a Green Card’ Program, Democrats Immediately Call ICE for Tips

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, John Myrick, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Maryland GOP Hopes “Normal-Sounding Man” Strategy Will Shock Voters Accustomed to Chaos

Maryland Republicans have nominated John Myrick, a gubernatorial candidate who prioritizes competence and calmness over theatrics. His straightforward approach, focusing on policy rather than controversies, has puzzled media and raised skepticism among voters. Despite this unconventional strategy, party insiders view it as a bold gamble, challenging norms in a chaotic political landscape. Continue reading Maryland GOP Hopes “Normal-Sounding Man” Strategy Will Shock Voters Accustomed to Chaos

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Celebrity, Congress, Congress & Power, Culture & Absurdity, Elections, Government, Politics, Satire

Warren Buffett, 95, Steps Down From Berkshire Hathaway: “Finally Old Enough for Congress”

Warren Buffett, at 95, has announced his retirement as CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, expressing a newfound ambition to join Congress, believing he is now seasoned enough. He humorously linked his age to a fitting perspective for governance. His transition plan for the company is clear, while political analysts remain cautiously optimistic about his potential impact. Continue reading Warren Buffett, 95, Steps Down From Berkshire Hathaway: “Finally Old Enough for Congress”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Congress & Power, democrats, Politics, Washington absurdity

Breaking: Democrats Unveil New Business Model—“Oops, That Wasn’t Fraud, That Was a Program”

The Democratic Party unveiled a new governing philosophy, reframing administrative failures as “bold investments in equity.” Critics cite mismanagement of federal funds, while Democrats propose reforms and emphasize intentions over accountability. They characterize inefficiency as integral, focusing on job creation rather than results, promising to assure voters with optimistic messaging. Continue reading Breaking: Democrats Unveil New Business Model—“Oops, That Wasn’t Fraud, That Was a Program”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment