Tag: Donald Trump

absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Maryland Democrats Unveil Bold New Governing Strategy: “If We Yell About ICE Loud Enough, Maybe No One Will Check Their Electric Bill”

Maryland Democrats have adopted a distraction strategy, focusing on issues like immigration cooperation with ICE rather than addressing the state’s fiscal mismanagement. Amid rising electric bills and a $1.4 billion deficit, lawmakers emphasize cultural issues and redistricting to divert attention from the real economic crises facing residents. Continue reading Maryland Democrats Unveil Bold New Governing Strategy: “If We Yell About ICE Loud Enough, Maybe No One Will Check Their Electric Bill”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Government, Military & Foreign Policy, Minnesota, Secondhand Service, Washington absurdity

Trump Deploys Aircraft Carrier to Lake Superior, America Immediately Googles “Can This Even Fit?”

President Trump announced the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower’s deployment to Lake Superior to quell unrest, despite concerns over its fit in the Great Lakes. Local officials criticized the move as reckless, while it excited some residents and tourism boards. The operation serves as a dramatic show of U.S. naval power amidst rising tensions. Continue reading Trump Deploys Aircraft Carrier to Lake Superior, America Immediately Googles “Can This Even Fit?”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, History, Politics, Satire

Breaking: Democrats Discover Time Travel, Immediately Use It to Re-Run the Worst Takes of the 1800s

The modern Democratic Party echoes 19th-century sentiments by opposing federal law enforcement, claiming it threatens democracy. Historical parallels arise as both then and now, Democrats argue against urgency in enforcing laws, prioritizing tone over accountability. This consistent pattern highlights a rejection of moral clarity while asserting selective compassion for the impacted communities. Continue reading Breaking: Democrats Discover Time Travel, Immediately Use It to Re-Run the Worst Takes of the 1800s

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Donald Trump, Elections, Government Dysfunction, immigration, Law Enforcement, Minnesota, Politics, Satire, Washington absurdity

Trump Announces ‘Vote Red, Get a Green Card’ Program, Democrats Immediately Call ICE for Tips

In a move that shattered political muscle memory, Donald Trump jokingly offered citizenship to any undocumented immigrant willing to vote Republican—prompting Democrats to immediately reconsider their stance on ICE, borders, and everything they tweeted in the last decade. Continue reading Trump Announces ‘Vote Red, Get a Green Card’ Program, Democrats Immediately Call ICE for Tips

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Government Dysfunction, immigration, Minnesota, Urban Absurdity

When Local Egos Block Federal Badges

Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey have faced criticism for treating public safety as a messaging exercise, leading to increased crime. Their reluctance to cooperate with federal law enforcement has created confusion and negligence, prioritizing political ideology over effective governance while leaving communities vulnerable to violent crime. Continue reading When Local Egos Block Federal Badges

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, Democrazy, Politics, Series

The Left Discovers Tyranny, Shocked to Learn It Has Their Fingerprints All Over It

Progressive leaders express alarm over looming tyranny, blaming Donald Trump for authoritarianism, yet they have established many of the policies leading to their fears. They redefine terms to justify censorship and demand greater control while ignoring personal responsibility. Ultimately, their own actions may have seeded the very control they now oppose. Continue reading The Left Discovers Tyranny, Shocked to Learn It Has Their Fingerprints All Over It

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Canada, Donald Trump, Global News, International, Politics, Satire, world leaders

Trump’s Board of Peace: Now Hiring — Except Canada, Sorry Not Sorry

President Trump’s brand-new “Board of Peace” is already delivering chaos, cash demands, and diplomatic side-eye—starting with uninviting Canada. World leaders laugh, doves wear helmets, and peace apparently costs a billion dollars upfront. Continue reading Trump’s Board of Peace: Now Hiring — Except Canada, Sorry Not Sorry

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, California, Global News, International, NATO & Global Absurdity, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics

Gavin Newsom and George Soros Confirm “No Labels, Just Love” Retreat at Davos—Catch Trump’s Surprise Stand-Up Set

California Governor Gavin Newsom and billionaire George Soros attended a retreat in Davos, described as both a personal getaway and a policy discussion. They engaged in intimate activities and shared humor during a surprise Donald Trump comedy set. The retreat was a mix of romance and political strategizing, leaving both attendees reflecting on its implications. Continue reading Gavin Newsom and George Soros Confirm “No Labels, Just Love” Retreat at Davos—Catch Trump’s Surprise Stand-Up Set

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Conspiracies, Donald Trump, Food & Health, Government, National Security, Politics, public safety, Satire, Washington absurdity

Air Force One Forced to Turn Back After Aide Realizes President Trump’s McDonald’s Was Left on the Tarmac

Air Force One was reportedly forced to turn back to Andrews Air Force Base after aides realized President Trump’s McDonald’s order had been left behind. Officials cited “critical onboard morale assets” as the reason, proving once again that no global summit comes before fries. Continue reading Air Force One Forced to Turn Back After Aide Realizes President Trump’s McDonald’s Was Left on the Tarmac

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment