Category: State

absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

A Completely Normal, Totally Real, Definitely Not Made-Up Day in the Life of Senator Chris Van Hollen

Senator Chris Van Hollen’s day begins with a frenetic wake-up, setting the tone for his busy schedule filled with committee meetings, impassioned speeches, and social media interactions. Throughout the day, he navigates the tumultuous political landscape, fueled by strong emotions and a commitment to defending democracy, while pondering his effectiveness in the process. Continue reading A Completely Normal, Totally Real, Definitely Not Made-Up Day in the Life of Senator Chris Van Hollen

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Elections, Maryland, Politics, State & Local

Andy Ellis Reportedly Has Not Slept in Weeks While Training for Gubernatorial Debate He May Not Be Invited To

Andy Ellis is a unique candidate for governor in Maryland, approaching his campaign with logic, preparation, and evidence. Unlike typical candidates, he engages voters with coherent arguments, aiming to improve discourse rather than rely on theatrics. Though he may not win, he challenges the political norm, raising questions about the expectations of voters. Continue reading Andy Ellis Reportedly Has Not Slept in Weeks While Training for Gubernatorial Debate He May Not Be Invited To

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, John Myrick, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Maryland GOP Hopes “Normal-Sounding Man” Strategy Will Shock Voters Accustomed to Chaos

Maryland Republicans have nominated John Myrick, a gubernatorial candidate who prioritizes competence and calmness over theatrics. His straightforward approach, focusing on policy rather than controversies, has puzzled media and raised skepticism among voters. Despite this unconventional strategy, party insiders view it as a bold gamble, challenging norms in a chaotic political landscape. Continue reading Maryland GOP Hopes “Normal-Sounding Man” Strategy Will Shock Voters Accustomed to Chaos

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Culture & Absurdity, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Maryland Lands the Sphere, Immediately Forgets the Electricity

Maryland Governor Wes Moore announced the “Powerless Ball,” a replica of Las Vegas’ Sphere, which cannot be powered due to electricity shortages. Moore framed it as a metaphor for governance and sustainability. Despite being unlit, the venue emphasizes environmental concerns and is marketed as a carbon-neutral attraction, reflecting Maryland’s energy challenges. Continue reading Maryland Lands the Sphere, Immediately Forgets the Electricity

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, immigration, Maryland, Politics, Satire, Series, State, State vs. Federal Politics

Margaritas With MS-13: Annapolis Democrats Discover a Bold New Voter Outreach Strategy

Maryland Democrats have allegedly adopted a controversial strategy combining compassion for violent gangs with socializing over drinks. Critics question their priorities, emphasizing that this approach appears to protect criminals over citizens. The proposal has raised concerns about public safety, prompting voters to reconsider their leaders’ commitments amidst rising crime rates. Continue reading Margaritas With MS-13: Annapolis Democrats Discover a Bold New Voter Outreach Strategy

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, immigration, Politics, Sports & Whatever, virginia

Virginia Democrats Repeal EO 47 to Boost Football Recruiting, Accidentally Announce Crime as a Feature

Virginia’s new Democratic leadership swiftly repealed Executive Order 47 to prioritize football recruiting, disregarding concerns about public safety and law enforcement. Critics warn that this decision could lead to increased crime, as cooperation with federal authorities is halted. Officials claim trade-offs in policy are necessary, emphasizing the importance of sports over safety. Continue reading Virginia Democrats Repeal EO 47 to Boost Football Recruiting, Accidentally Announce Crime as a Feature

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State, State & Local

Math Is Hard: A Love Story Between Maryland’s Governor and a Calculator

Governor Wes Moore has claimed Maryland faces a significant structural deficit, despite inheriting a multi-billion-dollar surplus. Critics argue his portrayal of finances lacks credibility, pointing out that basic arithmetic contradicts his statements. Ultimately, the issue lies not in math but in how the governor communicates financial realities to the public. Continue reading Math Is Hard: A Love Story Between Maryland’s Governor and a Calculator

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State, State & Local

Maryland Democrats Announce ‘Affordability Focus’—Residents Check Locks, Hide Wallets

The Annapolis Democratic establishment’s announcement to prioritize affordability has drawn skepticism from residents, who see it as ironic given their history of policies that increased living costs. Critics liken it to a burglar offering home security tips. Marylanders urge real accountability rather than more studies and temporary relief. Continue reading Maryland Democrats Announce ‘Affordability Focus’—Residents Check Locks, Hide Wallets

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, fraud, Minnesota, parody, Politics, Satire, State & Local, Transportation

The Boy Who Opened Minneapolis (But Like… the Other One)

In a Minneapolis cul-de-sac, a boy named Nick Shirley discovers his psychokinetic abilities during a standardized test and is taken to a lab for experimentation. There, he accidentally opens a portal to an alternate dimension, Upside Down Minneapolis, where urban legends flourish. After witnessing thriving businesses that defy reality, he ultimately closes the portal, returning to a seemingly normal life. Continue reading The Boy Who Opened Minneapolis (But Like… the Other One)

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Minnesota, Politics, Satire, Series, State vs. Federal Politics

Simple Frey: The Tale of the Mayor Who Misremembered Everything

Meet Simple Frey — the mayor who can’t remember what happened five minutes ago but somehow always remembers who to blame. In a Minneapolis where reality is optional and press conferences are performance art, every riot is a misunderstanding, every mob is a mirage, and every federal agent is guilty by default. Continue reading Simple Frey: The Tale of the Mayor Who Misremembered Everything

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment