Category: State

Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, Minnesota, Satire, Secondhand Service

Operation Glazed Response: Tim Walz Replaces Law Enforcement With Pastry Diplomacy

Tim Walz, the governor of Minnesota, has faced criticism for deploying the National Guard to distribute donuts instead of restoring order during civil unrest. This response has been mocked as a shift from serious governance to a whimsical approach, where crime management is replaced by distributing snacks, raising concerns about effective leadership and public safety. Continue reading Operation Glazed Response: Tim Walz Replaces Law Enforcement With Pastry Diplomacy

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Minnesota, parody, Politics, Satire, Series, State, State vs. Federal Politics

Governor Warren Walz Loses It Again After Someone Touches the Headphones of Power

Minnesota’s Governor Tim Walz experienced a bizarre outburst when approached about his headphones, referred to as The Headphones of Authority™. Witnesses reported his rapid transformation into a defensive figure, aggressively protecting his perceived gubernatorial powers. Analysts suggest adding a warning for press conferences, advising caution around his headphones to avoid potential meltdowns. Continue reading Governor Warren Walz Loses It Again After Someone Touches the Headphones of Power

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, New York, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Mayor Mamdani Announces Free Snow Weekend for NYC — No Strings, Just Slush

New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced a controversial initiative granting all city residents free snow this weekend with no application or verification process. While touted as a human right, the plan raised concerns over snow removal costs and logistics. Critics, including landlords and small business owners, expressed confusion and skepticism about the overarching implications. Continue reading Mayor Mamdani Announces Free Snow Weekend for NYC — No Strings, Just Slush

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, Law Enforcement, Maryland, Politics, public safety, Satire, State & Local

Annapolis Declares War on Snow, Immediately Fines the Elderly and Disabled for Losing

Annapolis and Anne Arundel County say their snow removal crackdown is about protecting seniors and the disabled. To prove it, they’re fining those same seniors and disabled residents for failing to shovel snow they didn’t ask for, can’t lift, and definitely can’t afford to ignore. Continue reading Annapolis Declares War on Snow, Immediately Fines the Elderly and Disabled for Losing

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Donald Trump, Elections, Government Dysfunction, immigration, Law Enforcement, Minnesota, Politics, Satire, Washington absurdity

Trump Announces ‘Vote Red, Get a Green Card’ Program, Democrats Immediately Call ICE for Tips

In a move that shattered political muscle memory, Donald Trump jokingly offered citizenship to any undocumented immigrant willing to vote Republican—prompting Democrats to immediately reconsider their stance on ICE, borders, and everything they tweeted in the last decade. Continue reading Trump Announces ‘Vote Red, Get a Green Card’ Program, Democrats Immediately Call ICE for Tips

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Government Dysfunction, immigration, Minnesota, Urban Absurdity

When Local Egos Block Federal Badges

Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey have faced criticism for treating public safety as a messaging exercise, leading to increased crime. Their reluctance to cooperate with federal law enforcement has created confusion and negligence, prioritizing political ideology over effective governance while leaving communities vulnerable to violent crime. Continue reading When Local Egos Block Federal Badges

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, immigration, Maryland, State

Long Forgotten “Maryland Man” Plots Media Comeback With Ballroom Twirl, Jazz Hands

Kilmar Abrego Garcia, known as the “Maryland Man,” plans to regain fame through a rumored appearance on Dancing with the Stars after fading into obscurity. His team believes nostalgia will draw viewers, positioning his comeback as a chance for public redemption through dance, aiming for viral clips and renewed relevance. Continue reading Long Forgotten “Maryland Man” Plots Media Comeback With Ballroom Twirl, Jazz Hands

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Arts & Entertainment, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State & Local

BREAKING: Wes Moore Announces ‘Political Party Animals Sphere’ at National Harbor — Promises Bipartisan Chaos, Rotating Donors, and Sponsored Outrage

Maryland Governor Wes Moore announced the creation of the Political Party Animals Sphere at National Harbor, envisioned as a nonpartisan space for political discourse. Featuring interactive exhibits and partisan-themed events, it aims to engage citizens while fostering debate. Construction awaits funding decisions, with a target opening before the next election. Continue reading BREAKING: Wes Moore Announces ‘Political Party Animals Sphere’ at National Harbor — Promises Bipartisan Chaos, Rotating Donors, and Sponsored Outrage

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, economy, Minnesota, State, Urban Absurdity

Minnesota Faith Leaders Urge Residents to Observe “Sacred Friday” by Absolutely Not Going to Target

Clergy in Minnesota are urging residents to refrain from shopping on Fridays as an act of spiritual resistance against consumerism. A rally on January 23 aims to promote contemplation over retail participation for one day. Critics note the challenge due to practical needs, while the event seeks to highlight values beyond consumption. Continue reading Minnesota Faith Leaders Urge Residents to Observe “Sacred Friday” by Absolutely Not Going to Target

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment