Category: Minnesota

immigration, Minnesota, Olympics, Protests, Sports & Whatever

Minnesota Antifa Puts Minneapolis on Pause to Watch Ilya Malinin Skate, Gives Locals Minutes to Find Their Vehicles

In Minneapolis, anti-ICE protesters took an unusual temporary ceasefire during Olympic figure skating, prioritizing Ilya Malinin’s performance over their ongoing demonstrations. Traffic flow improved briefly as demonstrators paused their actions, only to resume after watching the event. The surreal moment highlighted the unique blend of local culture and political activism. Continue reading Minnesota Antifa Puts Minneapolis on Pause to Watch Ilya Malinin Skate, Gives Locals Minutes to Find Their Vehicles

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Minnesota, Politics, State, State & Local, State vs. Federal Politics

Amy Klobuchar Announces She’s Ready to Finish the Job on Minnesota

Amy Klobuchar has announced her candidacy for governor of Minnesota, emphasizing “steady leadership” while critics label her approach as lacking accountability. Her campaign platform prioritizes expanding failed policies and dismissing voter concerns. Observers describe her as a continuation of current governance, characterized by institutional inertia and unyielding political niceness. Continue reading Amy Klobuchar Announces She’s Ready to Finish the Job on Minnesota

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, crime, Elections, fraud, Government, Government Dysfunction, Minnesota, parody, Politics, Satire, State & Local, voter outreach

Minnesota’s Dynamic Duo Hits the Road: The “Yes, We’re Guilty of Fraud – Loud and Clear!” Tour

Minnesota’s progressive power duo hits the road with a “countdown to caucus” tour that feels less like civic engagement and more like a masterclass in scandal-adjacent absurdity. From fake nonprofits to riot-as-distraction theatrics, this satire imagines what would happen if political spin finally stopped pretending. Continue reading Minnesota’s Dynamic Duo Hits the Road: The “Yes, We’re Guilty of Fraud – Loud and Clear!” Tour

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Minnesota

Walz of Fury: Minnesota Governor Appears to Challenge Entire Planet to a Fight

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz appears to be challenging the entire country to a fight—political, rhetorical, and possibly imaginary—as he squares off against everyone from national figures to the latest talking-point mascot, all while critics say the fury looks less like courage and more like a very loud distraction. Continue reading Walz of Fury: Minnesota Governor Appears to Challenge Entire Planet to a Fight

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Government, immigration, Law & Order, Law Enforcement, Minnesota

Trump Deploys the Bulldozer: Tom Homan Sent to Babysit Walz and Frey After Minneapolis Turns Into a Clown Car

Donald Trump sent Tom Homan to Minneapolis to restore order and leadership amid chaotic local governance. Homan’s mission involved enforcing law and order, challenging local officials on their management of the city’s issues, and promoting accountability. His straightforward approach prompted noticeable changes in city operations, restoring a sense of control. Continue reading Trump Deploys the Bulldozer: Tom Homan Sent to Babysit Walz and Frey After Minneapolis Turns Into a Clown Car

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Donald Trump, immigration, Minnesota, Politics, Satire, State, State & Local, State vs. Federal Politics

BREAKING: After Trump Call, Jacob Frey Immediately Deported to El Salvador Under New ‘Say It, Mean It’ Policy

Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey was humorously depicted as deported to El Salvador after tweeting about immigration following a call with Donald Trump. His comment was mistaken for a request for action, triggering his removal under a new federal initiative. The incident underscores the clash between symbolic governance and literal enforcement in politics. Continue reading BREAKING: After Trump Call, Jacob Frey Immediately Deported to El Salvador Under New ‘Say It, Mean It’ Policy

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Government, Military & Foreign Policy, Minnesota, Secondhand Service, Washington absurdity

Trump Deploys Aircraft Carrier to Lake Superior, America Immediately Googles “Can This Even Fit?”

President Trump announced the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower’s deployment to Lake Superior to quell unrest, despite concerns over its fit in the Great Lakes. Local officials criticized the move as reckless, while it excited some residents and tourism boards. The operation serves as a dramatic show of U.S. naval power amidst rising tensions. Continue reading Trump Deploys Aircraft Carrier to Lake Superior, America Immediately Googles “Can This Even Fit?”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, Minnesota, Satire, Secondhand Service

Operation Glazed Response: Tim Walz Replaces Law Enforcement With Pastry Diplomacy

Tim Walz, the governor of Minnesota, has faced criticism for deploying the National Guard to distribute donuts instead of restoring order during civil unrest. This response has been mocked as a shift from serious governance to a whimsical approach, where crime management is replaced by distributing snacks, raising concerns about effective leadership and public safety. Continue reading Operation Glazed Response: Tim Walz Replaces Law Enforcement With Pastry Diplomacy

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Minnesota, parody, Politics, Satire, Series, State, State vs. Federal Politics

Governor Warren Walz Loses It Again After Someone Touches the Headphones of Power

Minnesota’s Governor Tim Walz experienced a bizarre outburst when approached about his headphones, referred to as The Headphones of Authority™. Witnesses reported his rapid transformation into a defensive figure, aggressively protecting his perceived gubernatorial powers. Analysts suggest adding a warning for press conferences, advising caution around his headphones to avoid potential meltdowns. Continue reading Governor Warren Walz Loses It Again After Someone Touches the Headphones of Power

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Donald Trump, Elections, Government Dysfunction, immigration, Law Enforcement, Minnesota, Politics, Satire, Washington absurdity

Trump Announces ‘Vote Red, Get a Green Card’ Program, Democrats Immediately Call ICE for Tips

In a move that shattered political muscle memory, Donald Trump jokingly offered citizenship to any undocumented immigrant willing to vote Republican—prompting Democrats to immediately reconsider their stance on ICE, borders, and everything they tweeted in the last decade. Continue reading Trump Announces ‘Vote Red, Get a Green Card’ Program, Democrats Immediately Call ICE for Tips

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment