Category: Maryland

absurd politics, immigration, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State, State & Local

Employee Performance Review: Howard County Councilwoman Liz Walsh

Liz Walsh, a County Council member, received a performance review rating of “Does Not Meet Expectations.” Key issues included unsatisfactory fact verification, critical failures in judgment, poor communication skills, and a significant erosion of public trust. The review highlighted the need for remedial training, close supervision, or reassignment. Continue reading Employee Performance Review: Howard County Councilwoman Liz Walsh

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Maryland, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

Senator Angela Alsobrooks’ Bold New Platform:

Senator Angela Alsobrooks has adopted a governing approach that mirrors Chris Van Hollen’s policies unless directed otherwise by out-of-state donors, streamlining decision-making at the expense of local concerns. Critics argue this outsourcing diminishes representation, while supporters claim it enhances efficiency, providing voters with predictable but donor-influenced political stances. Continue reading Senator Angela Alsobrooks’ Bold New Platform:

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absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Maryland Democrats Unveil Bold New Governing Strategy: “If We Yell About ICE Loud Enough, Maybe No One Will Check Their Electric Bill”

Maryland Democrats have adopted a distraction strategy, focusing on issues like immigration cooperation with ICE rather than addressing the state’s fiscal mismanagement. Amid rising electric bills and a $1.4 billion deficit, lawmakers emphasize cultural issues and redistricting to divert attention from the real economic crises facing residents. Continue reading Maryland Democrats Unveil Bold New Governing Strategy: “If We Yell About ICE Loud Enough, Maybe No One Will Check Their Electric Bill”

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absurd politics, Government Dysfunction, immigration, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Sen. Van Hollen Horrified to Learn Illegal Immigrants May Not Be Receiving Luxury Resort Experience in Baltimore

Sen. Chris Van Hollen is demanding answers regarding the treatment of illegal immigrants in federal custody, expressing concern over their lack of luxury amenities. Critics argue his focus on migrants neglects pressing issues for American citizens. A proposed “Margaritas for Migrants” bill aims to address this perceived humanitarian crisis humorously. Continue reading Sen. Van Hollen Horrified to Learn Illegal Immigrants May Not Be Receiving Luxury Resort Experience in Baltimore

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Government, Government Dysfunction, Government Waste, Law Enforcement, Maryland, Politics, public safety, Satire, State & Local

Annapolis Declares War on Snow, Immediately Fines the Elderly and Disabled for Losing

Annapolis and Anne Arundel County say their snow removal crackdown is about protecting seniors and the disabled. To prove it, they’re fining those same seniors and disabled residents for failing to shovel snow they didn’t ask for, can’t lift, and definitely can’t afford to ignore. Continue reading Annapolis Declares War on Snow, Immediately Fines the Elderly and Disabled for Losing

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, immigration, Maryland, State

Long Forgotten “Maryland Man” Plots Media Comeback With Ballroom Twirl, Jazz Hands

Kilmar Abrego Garcia, known as the “Maryland Man,” plans to regain fame through a rumored appearance on Dancing with the Stars after fading into obscurity. His team believes nostalgia will draw viewers, positioning his comeback as a chance for public redemption through dance, aiming for viral clips and renewed relevance. Continue reading Long Forgotten “Maryland Man” Plots Media Comeback With Ballroom Twirl, Jazz Hands

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Arts & Entertainment, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State & Local

BREAKING: Wes Moore Announces ‘Political Party Animals Sphere’ at National Harbor — Promises Bipartisan Chaos, Rotating Donors, and Sponsored Outrage

Maryland Governor Wes Moore announced the creation of the Political Party Animals Sphere at National Harbor, envisioned as a nonpartisan space for political discourse. Featuring interactive exhibits and partisan-themed events, it aims to engage citizens while fostering debate. Construction awaits funding decisions, with a target opening before the next election. Continue reading BREAKING: Wes Moore Announces ‘Political Party Animals Sphere’ at National Harbor — Promises Bipartisan Chaos, Rotating Donors, and Sponsored Outrage

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absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

A Completely Normal, Totally Real, Definitely Not Made-Up Day in the Life of Senator Chris Van Hollen

Senator Chris Van Hollen’s day begins with a frenetic wake-up, setting the tone for his busy schedule filled with committee meetings, impassioned speeches, and social media interactions. Throughout the day, he navigates the tumultuous political landscape, fueled by strong emotions and a commitment to defending democracy, while pondering his effectiveness in the process. Continue reading A Completely Normal, Totally Real, Definitely Not Made-Up Day in the Life of Senator Chris Van Hollen

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absurd politics, Elections, Maryland, Politics, State & Local

Andy Ellis Reportedly Has Not Slept in Weeks While Training for Gubernatorial Debate He May Not Be Invited To

Andy Ellis is a unique candidate for governor in Maryland, approaching his campaign with logic, preparation, and evidence. Unlike typical candidates, he engages voters with coherent arguments, aiming to improve discourse rather than rely on theatrics. Though he may not win, he challenges the political norm, raising questions about the expectations of voters. Continue reading Andy Ellis Reportedly Has Not Slept in Weeks While Training for Gubernatorial Debate He May Not Be Invited To

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, John Myrick, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Maryland GOP Hopes “Normal-Sounding Man” Strategy Will Shock Voters Accustomed to Chaos

Maryland Republicans have nominated John Myrick, a gubernatorial candidate who prioritizes competence and calmness over theatrics. His straightforward approach, focusing on policy rather than controversies, has puzzled media and raised skepticism among voters. Despite this unconventional strategy, party insiders view it as a bold gamble, challenging norms in a chaotic political landscape. Continue reading Maryland GOP Hopes “Normal-Sounding Man” Strategy Will Shock Voters Accustomed to Chaos

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment