Category: Washington absurdity

absurd politics, Cultural Meltdowns, democrats, Democrazy, Donald Trump, Politics, Washington absurdity

Democrats Ditch Trump’s Triumph for Their Own ‘State of the Swamp’ Circle Jerk: A Treasonous Toddler Tantrum in Tuxedos

While President Trump prepares to deliver his 2026 State of the Union address from the House floor, a coalition of Democrats is staging their own rival spectacle across town — a swamp-themed “rebuttal” critics are calling more performance art than policy. As one side fills the Capitol chamber, the other fills wine glasses, proving once again that in Washington, governance now competes with branding. Continue reading Democrats Ditch Trump’s Triumph for Their Own ‘State of the Swamp’ Circle Jerk: A Treasonous Toddler Tantrum in Tuxedos

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Politics, voter outreach, Elections, Washington absurdity, Democrazy, Washington DC

Capitol Mystery: Is Mitch McConnell Being Operated by Remote Control?

In 2026, rumors circulate that Senator Mitch McConnell has been “functionally offline” while his staff manipulates the legislative process to block the SAVE Act. Various potential puppet masters, including Senate leaders and the parliamentarian, influence actions silently, revealing a system designed to stall bills, suggesting the Senate operates independently of McConnell. Continue reading Capitol Mystery: Is Mitch McConnell Being Operated by Remote Control?

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
democrats, Democrazy, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

UNKNOWN WES MOORE REVEALED AS “POLITICAL LAB CREATION,” SOURCES SAY HE WAS GROWN IN A HYDROPONIC TANK BEHIND AN IKEA

A satirical social media post claims Maryland Governor Wes Moore was not elected but “assembled” in a political lab by notable figures like Oprah Winfrey and George Soros. This fictional account suggests Moore was engineered for charisma and political ambition, sparking humorous debates about his authenticity amidst real political concerns in Maryland. Continue reading UNKNOWN WES MOORE REVEALED AS “POLITICAL LAB CREATION,” SOURCES SAY HE WAS GROWN IN A HYDROPONIC TANK BEHIND AN IKEA

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Elections, Politics, voter outreach, Washington absurdity

Swalwell, Schiff Demand Exemption From SAVE Act After Realizing It May Require Them to Show Up to Vote

Eric Swalwell and Adam Schiff have requested a legislative exemption from the SAVE Act, fearing it may set a precedent requiring proof of Congress members’ presence to validate votes. They advocate for flexible participation methods while expressing concerns about increased voter verification impacting democratic access. Their proposed act seeks to redefine attendance. Continue reading Swalwell, Schiff Demand Exemption From SAVE Act After Realizing It May Require Them to Show Up to Vote

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Donald Trump, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Wes Moore Discovers New Theory: Maybe It’s the Job Performance, Not the Melanin

Maryland Governor Wes Moore reflects on his absence from a governors’ dinner hosted by Donald Trump, contemplating whether it stems from his performance rather than racial or systemic factors. While some advisors urged him to emphasize race, Moore entertained the notion that invitations are based on effectiveness, highlighting a rare moment of accountability in politics. Continue reading Wes Moore Discovers New Theory: Maybe It’s the Job Performance, Not the Melanin

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Arts & Entertainment, Bach's Boombox, Donald Trump, Entertainment, Washington absurdity

TrumpTix: President Trump Announces Ticketing Platform to “Make Concerts Great Again”

President Trump is launching TrumpTix, a ticketing platform aimed at reducing high service fees and improving transparency in ticket pricing. The initiative promises features like “Freedom Fee” and fair distribution of tickets. While it targets concerts, sports, and political events, industry reactions range from shock to cautious optimism about affordability. Continue reading TrumpTix: President Trump Announces Ticketing Platform to “Make Concerts Great Again”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Donald Trump, Washington absurdity, Washington DC

Trump Unveils Vision for America’s 250th: A Monumental Set of Golden Arches Over Washington

Donald Trump is planning a monumental tribute for America’s 250th birthday: a massive McDonald’s Golden Arches structure at the National Mall. Described as “historic,” the design includes a drive-thru, a Hall of Condiments, and aims to capture America’s spirit of efficiency. Critics argue it commercializes civic space, while supporters embrace its cultural relevance. Continue reading Trump Unveils Vision for America’s 250th: A Monumental Set of Golden Arches Over Washington

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Congress, Government, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

Republicans Introduce Mask Mandate—for Democrats Only

A new bipartisan bill, humorously titled “You Loved It, You Wear It,” mandates that elected Democrats wear masks continuously, even in private settings. Republicans argue it promotes accountability, while Democrats condemn it as a publicity stunt. The proposal aims to provoke discussion and emphasize political hypocrisy regarding public health messaging. Continue reading Republicans Introduce Mask Mandate—for Democrats Only

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Congress, Congress & Power, Government, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

Mark Kelly’s Bold Plan to Fix Driving: Ban Driver’s Licenses

Senator Mark Kelly (D-AZ) has introduced legislation to ban driver’s licenses, arguing they hinder driving more than actual obstacles like traffic. Supporters claim it promotes equity, but critics warn it may lead to further deregulation. The proposal challenges conventional safety norms, ultimately suggesting a radical shift in driving responsibility and regulation. Continue reading Mark Kelly’s Bold Plan to Fix Driving: Ban Driver’s Licenses

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
New York, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

Hakeem Jeffries: The Boy Who Flew Away From Responsibility

Hakeem Jeffries, a Brooklyn-born politician, is criticized for evading responsibility and failing to address real issues. Dubbed “Dumbo” due to his tendency to vanish when accountability arises, his leadership style is characterized by vague rhetoric and detachment. Instead of confronting problems, he focuses on surface-level concerns, leaving taxpayers disappointed. Continue reading Hakeem Jeffries: The Boy Who Flew Away From Responsibility

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment