Category: Series

absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Marylanders Skip New Year’s Resolutions Amid Rumors Gov. Wes Moore Plans to Tax Them Per Goal

Marylanders, united in a rare bipartisan gesture, decided against New Year’s resolutions amid rumors of a proposed tax on personal goals to address the state’s budget deficit. This plan, dubbed “The Self-Improvement Responsibility Act,” would impose fees based on the ambition of resolutions, prompting creative adaptations by residents. Continue reading Marylanders Skip New Year’s Resolutions Amid Rumors Gov. Wes Moore Plans to Tax Them Per Goal

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
California, Celebrity, Cultural Meltdowns, Satire, Sports & Whatever

Alabama Booted from SEC After Indiana Beatdown Prompts Emergency Statue, Nick Saban Evacuation

The Alabama Crimson Tide has been removed from the Southeastern Conference following a humiliating loss to the Indiana Hoosiers in the Rose Bowl. This unexpected defeat led to Indiana’s immediate celebration, including plans for a statue of their coach. Meanwhile, Alabama fans attempted to downplay the loss amid significant implications for the team. Continue reading Alabama Booted from SEC After Indiana Beatdown Prompts Emergency Statue, Nick Saban Evacuation

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Minnesota, Politics, Press & Free Speech, Protests, Satire

JUST IN: DNC Deploys Pink-Vest Rapid Response Choir to Minneapolis, Unleashes Broadway Defense Against Daycare Fraud Reporting

The Democratic National Committee has deployed its Pink Vest Rapid Response Choir in Minneapolis to deter reporters from investigating alleged fraud outside Somali daycare centers. The choir, known for its musical tactics at protests, aims to create a harmonious environment that deflects critical questions, marking a new phase in political crisis management through performance art. Continue reading JUST IN: DNC Deploys Pink-Vest Rapid Response Choir to Minneapolis, Unleashes Broadway Defense Against Daycare Fraud Reporting

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Celebrity, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Satire, Urban Absurdity

The Capital One Bank Guy Really Does Sleep at a Branch—Just Not for the Reasons You Think

Jeremy Brandt, known as the Capital One Bank Guy, has taken his branding to an extreme by sleeping in bank branches nationwide after being asked to leave home for legally changing his name. Struggling with estrangement and homelessness, he clings to hope that his unconventional approach will reunite him with his family. Continue reading The Capital One Bank Guy Really Does Sleep at a Branch—Just Not for the Reasons You Think

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Washington absurdity, Washington Christmas Classics

Ho-Ho-Ho, Now I Have a Redaction Bar

The Epstein Files drop was supposed to be a transparency triumph. Instead, it became a Die Hard–style hostage crisis of redactions, disappearing documents, and cable-news explosions—perfectly timed to distract the country while billions in quiet corporate fraud slipped out the back door. Continue reading Ho-Ho-Ho, Now I Have a Redaction Bar

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity

World’s Most Sensitive Musicians Forced to Cancel Concerts Because Building Words Hurt Their Feelings

A group of highly principled musicians bravely cancel their Kennedy Center performances after discovering the building now contains words they don’t like. In a stunning stand for artistic integrity, several artists prove once and for all that nothing threatens creative freedom quite like signage. Continue reading World’s Most Sensitive Musicians Forced to Cancel Concerts Because Building Words Hurt Their Feelings

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Congress, democrats, Government, History, Politics, Washington absurdity

Democrats Announce January 6, 2026 Hearing to Mark Fifth Anniversary of “The Vibe Shift”

House Democrats plan a solemn commemorative hearing for January 6, 2026, marking the fifth anniversary of the January 6 Capitol events, which they call a near-democratic collapse. This hearing will emphasize the importance of voting to prevent similar incidents, despite critiques of its necessity and format. Democrats assert it’s vital to remember this event annually. Continue reading Democrats Announce January 6, 2026 Hearing to Mark Fifth Anniversary of “The Vibe Shift”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Politics, Satire, Secondhand Service, Washington absurdity, world leaders

Democrats Furious After Trump Drone-Strikes Biden’s Toy Boat at Delaware Beach

Democratic leaders condemned Donald Trump after a U.S. drone mistakenly destroyed Joe Biden’s toy boat on a Delaware beach, which Trump justified as a narcotics threat. Despite bipartisan outrage over the strike’s recklessness, Trump remained unapologetic, claiming it demonstrated military precision. Biden was unharmed but shaken, and the White House has not addressed potential replacements. Continue reading Democrats Furious After Trump Drone-Strikes Biden’s Toy Boat at Delaware Beach

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Florida, Global News, Politics, Satire, world leaders

Mar-a-Lago Peace Summit Collapses After Tonka Truck Dispute Over Who Gets the Big Yellow Dump Truck

Donald Trump hosted an unconventional peace summit at Mar-a-Lago with Vladimir Putin, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, and Benjamin Netanyahu, using Tonka trucks as props. Trump facilitated playful negotiations over vehicle ownership and infrastructure, but tensions flared after an accidental incident with a plastic ambulance. The summit ended with Trump claiming significant progress. Continue reading Mar-a-Lago Peace Summit Collapses After Tonka Truck Dispute Over Who Gets the Big Yellow Dump Truck

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment