Category: Series

Politics, Satire, Transportation, Urban Absurdity

Waze Announces New Celebrity Voices: Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey and Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson to Guide Drivers Through Chaos

Waze has introduced two new navigation voices, Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey and Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, aiming to reflect modern driving experiences filled with confusion and detours. Frey offers calm reassurances for lost drivers, while Jackson invites philosophical reflections on navigation. This update seeks user feedback for a more ambiguous, yet comforting, driving experience. Continue reading Waze Announces New Celebrity Voices: Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey and Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson to Guide Drivers Through Chaos

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Donald Trump, Protests, immigration, absurd politics, Media Critique

CNN Confirms: Man Who Tried to Run Over Police Was a “Peaceful Migrant,” Death Still Somehow Trump’s Fault

In a masterclass of narrative gymnastics, cable news once again proves that facts are optional when a better storyline is available—where attempted vehicular assault becomes “peaceful,” police are always at fault, and somehow, inevitably, everything traces back to Trump. Continue reading CNN Confirms: Man Who Tried to Run Over Police Was a “Peaceful Migrant,” Death Still Somehow Trump’s Fault

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Satire, Urban Absurdity

Nation Honors MLK by Arguing All Day About What He Really Would’ve Thought

On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Americans from both political sides projected their views onto King’s legacy, with conservatives and progressives each claiming his support for their agendas. Corporations joined in with generic emails, while historians faced disregard. The day became a spectacle of ideological conflict, overshadowing King’s true message of unity and understanding. Continue reading Nation Honors MLK by Arguing All Day About What He Really Would’ve Thought

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
constitutional rights, Cultural Meltdowns, Media Critique, Politics, Protests, Satire

From Prime Time to Pew Raid: Don Lemon Declares Himself Archbishop of the First Amendment

Don Lemon has transitioned from a cable news anchor to a self-styled constitutional scholar, disrupting Christian worship services to lecture pastors on the First Amendment. His actions have been criticized as attention-seeking rather than activism, showing a decline in relevance and credibility, ultimately reflecting a battle against his own irrelevance. Continue reading From Prime Time to Pew Raid: Don Lemon Declares Himself Archbishop of the First Amendment

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, immigration, Maryland, Politics, Satire, Series, State, State vs. Federal Politics

Margaritas With MS-13: Annapolis Democrats Discover a Bold New Voter Outreach Strategy

Maryland Democrats have allegedly adopted a controversial strategy combining compassion for violent gangs with socializing over drinks. Critics question their priorities, emphasizing that this approach appears to protect criminals over citizens. The proposal has raised concerns about public safety, prompting voters to reconsider their leaders’ commitments amidst rising crime rates. Continue reading Margaritas With MS-13: Annapolis Democrats Discover a Bold New Voter Outreach Strategy

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Donald Trump, Global News, Government, Greenland, International, Military & Foreign Policy, NATO & Global Absurdity, Politics, Satire, Washington absurdity

Trump Launches Kickstarter to Buy Greenland, Assures Donors It’s “Basically a Condo With Ice”

Donald Trump has initiated a Kickstarter campaign to buy Greenland after his previous attempts failed. With a funding goal of $1 trillion, backer tiers offer humorous rewards. Despite experts noting Greenland’s sovereignty, the campaign surprisingly attracted millions in donations, reflecting the absurdity of modern politics and Trump’s unconventional approach. Continue reading Trump Launches Kickstarter to Buy Greenland, Assures Donors It’s “Basically a Condo With Ice”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, Government, immigration, Law & Order, Politics, Protests, Satire

From ‘Fund ICE’ to ‘Abolish ICE’: The Great Democratic Sheep Migration

Once upon a time, Democrats funded and defended ICE. Now they chant against it like it was invented yesterday. Welcome to the Great Democratic Sheep Migration—where yesterday’s policy becomes today’s outrage, and no one is allowed to remember the voting record. Continue reading From ‘Fund ICE’ to ‘Abolish ICE’: The Great Democratic Sheep Migration

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, immigration, Politics, Sports & Whatever, virginia

Virginia Democrats Repeal EO 47 to Boost Football Recruiting, Accidentally Announce Crime as a Feature

Virginia’s new Democratic leadership swiftly repealed Executive Order 47 to prioritize football recruiting, disregarding concerns about public safety and law enforcement. Critics warn that this decision could lead to increased crime, as cooperation with federal authorities is halted. Officials claim trade-offs in policy are necessary, emphasizing the importance of sports over safety. Continue reading Virginia Democrats Repeal EO 47 to Boost Football Recruiting, Accidentally Announce Crime as a Feature

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment