Category: absurd politics

absurd politics, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Politics

Bernie Sanders Declares War on the Thin Mint Industrial Complex

During a grocery store visit, Bernie Sanders passionately criticized the Girl Scouts for their cookie sales, claiming they represent a monopolistic system. He proposed reforms like a price cap and a Senate investigation. Despite his fervor, the scouts remained unfazed, ultimately benefiting from record sales, as Sanders left with cookies for the “movement.” Continue reading Bernie Sanders Declares War on the Thin Mint Industrial Complex

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Democrazy, Politics, Satire, Sports & Whatever

No Escaping the Scoreboard: How American Sports Hijacked Budget Season

The intertwining of sports and politics has grown pronounced, with lawmakers increasingly referencing sports culture during discussions on budget and fiscal discipline. Instead of productive debates, sessions resemble chaotic sporting events, with bipartisan jabs and metaphorical excess. Ultimately, budgets are passed amid a backdrop of disillusionment, leaving the national debt unaddressed. Continue reading No Escaping the Scoreboard: How American Sports Hijacked Budget Season

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Democrazy, Maryland, Politics, Satire

“It Was Racist That I Won”: Governor Moore’s New Explanation for Election Victory Shocks Political Analysts

Maryland Governor Wes Moore claimed his election victory in 2022 was solely due to racism among voters, sparking disbelief among analysts. His satirical remarks have drawn both support and confusion, as critics question the validity of such a claim. Ultimately, his statement reflects the evolving and often absurd nature of political discourse. Continue reading “It Was Racist That I Won”: Governor Moore’s New Explanation for Election Victory Shocks Political Analysts

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Democrazy, Elections, Government, Maryland, Overreach, Politics, Satire, State & Local, virginia

DealDash Democracy: Maryland and Virginia Accidentally Buy Their New Congressional Maps at 3:17 a.m.

Maryland and Virginia officials insist their newly redrawn congressional maps are perfectly legal—despite evidence they were impulse-bought on DealDash at 3:17 a.m. during a bidding war labeled “BUY IT NOW: DEMOCRACY.” Continue reading DealDash Democracy: Maryland and Virginia Accidentally Buy Their New Congressional Maps at 3:17 a.m.

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Politics, State & Local, virginia

Virginia Democrats Unveil New District Map, Accidentally Annex West Virginia

Virginia Democrats unveiled a new congressional map that mistakenly merged parts of West Virginia into Virginia, creating unconventional district shapes. Officials learned via social media and expressed confusion over the change. Despite claims of inclusivity and fairness, critics labeled the map a chaotic design. Democrats promise to fix the error before the next election. Continue reading Virginia Democrats Unveil New District Map, Accidentally Annex West Virginia

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Maryland

Maryland Enters Five-Alarm Crisis After Governor Suggests State Flag May Be… Complicated

Maryland has declared a state of emergency following Governor Wes Moore’s comments labeling the state flag a “contradiction.” This remark sparked outrage among residents, leading to chaotic online reactions and conspiracy theories, with many vowing to defend the flag at all costs. Despite the uproar, the flag remains unchanged and proudly displayed. Continue reading Maryland Enters Five-Alarm Crisis After Governor Suggests State Flag May Be… Complicated

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, economy, Maryland, Politics

State Officials Shocked to Discover Electricity Was Doing Something

Maryland Democratic leaders are facing backlash over soaring BGE bills after closing power plants without replacements. Residents mistakenly thought high charges were errors, while officials offered vague explanations for new fees. Amid public outrage, a task force will study the situation, and a new program promises temporary credits funded by future fees. Continue reading State Officials Shocked to Discover Electricity Was Doing Something

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Congress, Government, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

Republicans Introduce Mask Mandate—for Democrats Only

A new bipartisan bill, humorously titled “You Loved It, You Wear It,” mandates that elected Democrats wear masks continuously, even in private settings. Republicans argue it promotes accountability, while Democrats condemn it as a publicity stunt. The proposal aims to provoke discussion and emphasize political hypocrisy regarding public health messaging. Continue reading Republicans Introduce Mask Mandate—for Democrats Only

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
2026 Midterms Guide, absurd politics, Elections, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics

Circular Firing Squad: How the Maryland GOP Is Accidentally Clearing the Runway for the Green Party

In Maryland politics, the GOP faces fragmentation, with numerous factions competing for influence while struggling to present a coherent platform. Amid this chaos, the Green Party is gaining visibility by maintaining simplicity and unity. As the Republicans descend into infighting, the Greens may inadvertently surpass them in electoral significance. Continue reading Circular Firing Squad: How the Maryland GOP Is Accidentally Clearing the Runway for the Green Party

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Black History Month, Presented by the Democratic Opposition Research Committee

Black History Month has shifted from celebrating historical achievements to being a political tool for Democrats, often framing historical figures as weapons against Republicans. There’s a loss of nuance in understanding Black history, as it becomes a platform for partisan messaging, reduced to sound bites while real substance is overlooked. Continue reading Black History Month, Presented by the Democratic Opposition Research Committee

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment