Category: Satire

ADR, family court, Satire

BREAKING NEWS: Judges Demand Therapy After ADR Collapse

America’s Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) system collapsed, resulting in judges’ confusion and panic as they struggled to adapt to traditional trials. Eyewitness accounts depict chaotic scenes in courthouses. Both judges and attorneys face challenges adjusting to constitutional requirements, prompting calls for emotional support and retraining to navigate the new legal landscape. Continue reading BREAKING NEWS: Judges Demand Therapy After ADR Collapse

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Satire, Transportation

BREAKING: Mr. Wiggles Trapped in Existential Hell After Attempting to Cross American Legion Bridge at Rush Hour

In Montgomery County, Mr. Wiggles, a satirical clown lawyer, became trapped for seven hours on the American Legion Bridge during rush hour. Armed with a kazoo and balloon animals, he faced traffic woes and absurd hallucinations. After finally crossing into Virginia, he proposed a “Honk lane” for improved traffic flow and vowed never to attempt the bridge again. Continue reading BREAKING: Mr. Wiggles Trapped in Existential Hell After Attempting to Cross American Legion Bridge at Rush Hour

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Advocacy, Protests, Satire

CLOWNCAST AWAY: Mr. Wiggles Devastated After Circus Declares “No Clowns Day” in Stunning Act of Emotional Betrayal

The Grand Royale Traveling Circus held a No Clowns Day, causing devastation for longtime clown Mr. Wiggles. He protested silently while others reacted with mixed feelings. Critics labeled the ban as institutional clownphobia. Although normal operations resumed, emotional damage lingered, prompting Wiggles to file a grievance, advocating for clown rights and dignity. Continue reading CLOWNCAST AWAY: Mr. Wiggles Devastated After Circus Declares “No Clowns Day” in Stunning Act of Emotional Betrayal

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Maryland, Politics, Satire, Uncategorized

🏆 Montgomery County, Maryland: Virtue Signaling Capital of the World™

Montgomery County, Maryland, prioritizes symbolic gestures over practical governance. Despite a multitude of resolutions and bans, real issues like crumbling infrastructure and affordable housing are neglected. The county focuses on moral superiority and public image, often at the expense of citizen needs, resulting in superficial legislation and ongoing challenges. Continue reading 🏆 Montgomery County, Maryland: Virtue Signaling Capital of the World™

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
California, Campaigns, Politics, Satire

BREAKING: Mr. Wiggles Shows Up to LA Protest Thinking He Was Hired to “Act Like a Riot,” Ends Up Feeding ICE and National Guard Instead

Mr. Wiggles attended a protest in LA, misunderstanding a dark web ad that instructed him to “act like a riot.” Instead of inciting unrest, he diffused tension with humor and balloon animals, even feeding ICE agents and the National Guard. His actions sparked mixed reactions, prompting a discussion on protest dynamics. Continue reading BREAKING: Mr. Wiggles Shows Up to LA Protest Thinking He Was Hired to “Act Like a Riot,” Ends Up Feeding ICE and National Guard Instead

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Campaigns, Politics, Satire

POLITICAL CIRCUS: Mr. Wiggles Declares Candidacy for Montgomery County Executive, Ties Balloon Elephant in Solidarity

Mr. Wiggles, a disbarred courtroom jester, announced his candidacy for Montgomery County Executive in 2026, aiming for the GOP nomination. His platform includes banning boring bureaucrats and implementing innovative plans like balloon animal accessibility. Despite skepticism about his qualifications, he resonates with some voters, marking a unique political approach. Continue reading POLITICAL CIRCUS: Mr. Wiggles Declares Candidacy for Montgomery County Executive, Ties Balloon Elephant in Solidarity

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Politics, Satire

🧼 The Great American Virtue Olympics: Which State Virtue Signals the Most?

The 2025 Virtue Signaling State Rankings critique states like California, New York, and Massachusetts for prioritizing performative activism over meaningful governance. Through examples like California’s plastic straw ban and New York’s inclusive bagel guidelines, the post highlights how leaders focus on appearances while neglecting real issues, creating a “look good” culture. Continue reading 🧼 The Great American Virtue Olympics: Which State Virtue Signals the Most?

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
democrats, Government Waste, Maryland, Satire

Maryland Governor Wes Moore Unveils Revolutionary Math: Saving Taxpayers by Taxing Them Into Poverty

Maryland Governor Wes Moore claims his administration saved taxpayers billions by cutting government brochures, though this includes new fees like the Invisible Item Fee and narrative taxes. Critics question his fiscal math, viewing it as fictional. Moore insists residents benefit, despite proposing a controversial Existence Fee for simply living in the state. Continue reading Maryland Governor Wes Moore Unveils Revolutionary Math: Saving Taxpayers by Taxing Them Into Poverty

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Campaigns, Elections, Satire

The Race to Be First: Montgomery County Council’s 2026 Diversity Olympics Begins!

Montgomery County has launched its 2026 campaign season amid a flurry of identity-focused candidates. With unique platforms and unconventional identities, the candidates emphasize diversity over urgent local issues. As the county faces governance challenges, the growing emphasis on personal identity overshadows practical solutions, raising questions about the future of effective governance. Continue reading The Race to Be First: Montgomery County Council’s 2026 Diversity Olympics Begins!

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Campaigns, Elections, Satire

Is Justin Ready… Running for President? Local Senator Accused of Caring Too Much

Maryland State Senator Justin Ready’s public appearances have sparked speculation about a possible presidential run. While he denies any campaign intentions, his activities, such as attending school meetings and engaging with constituents, have led to humorous discourse among locals. Observers note his politeness and competence, raising eyebrows in today’s political climate. Continue reading Is Justin Ready… Running for President? Local Senator Accused of Caring Too Much

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment