Category: Satire

Global News, Holidays, Law Enforcement, Satire

Authorities Urge Public to Stop Shooting at Santa Claus During Holiday Deliveries

Local law enforcement are once again pleading with the public to stop firing at Santa Claus as he attempts to deliver presents in America’s most crime-ridden cities. Officials confirm Santa is not a threat, not a suspect, and not responsible for the broader breakdown of public order—he’s just trying to save Christmas. Continue reading Authorities Urge Public to Stop Shooting at Santa Claus During Holiday Deliveries

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Health & Medical, Politics, S.H.I.T.E. Paper, Satire

A Peer-Reviewed* Investigation Into Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS), Macronutrient Intake, and the Bubble Tea Variable

A groundbreaking* study published in the Journal of Scientific Hypotheses In Theoretical Environments (S.H.I.T.E.) finds a strong correlation between extreme Trump Derangement Syndrome and diets low in meat protein but high in soy products and bubble tea—raising serious questions about tofu, tapioca pearls, and the biochemical limits of political calm.
*Groundbreaking in the sense that someone finally said it out loud. Continue reading A Peer-Reviewed* Investigation Into Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS), Macronutrient Intake, and the Bubble Tea Variable

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Habeas Circus, Satire

Public Defender Accused of “Doing Their Job,” Triggering Crisis Across Los Angeles Legal System

A Los Angeles public defender faces accusations for allegedly performing their duties by filing motions and challenging evidence without prior approvals. This behavior has unsettled court officials, leading to emergency trainings to combat “over-lawyering.” The defender maintains innocence, raising concerns about the future of representation in a system prioritizing efficiency over justice. Continue reading Public Defender Accused of “Doing Their Job,” Triggering Crisis Across Los Angeles Legal System

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Holidays, Satire, Washington absurdity

Congress Declares Christmas Recess to Investigate Whether Christmas Is Still Allowed

Congress is holding a special Christmas Recess to investigate the constitutional status of Christmas, citing its growing complexity and controversy. While Santa Claus testifies on issues like the Naughty List, bipartisan concern for holiday oversight has emerged. A $47 billion fund is proposed for emissions standards, but the inquiry is expected to extend until Easter. Continue reading Congress Declares Christmas Recess to Investigate Whether Christmas Is Still Allowed

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Holidays, poetry, Satire, Series, Washington Christmas Classics

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Shutdown

The parody reflects on the looming government shutdown, likening it to the Christmas season. Progress is stalled by routine political rhetoric and futile negotiations, as staff prepare for potential layoffs. Amidst the familiar chaos, the cycle of blame and uncertainty continues, leaving workers and markets in a state of anxious anticipation. Continue reading It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Shutdown

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Holidays, poetry, Satire, Washington Christmas Classics

’Twas the Night Before Trump-mas

The poem humorously depicts the frantic energy of Senator Chris Van Hollen on the eve of “Trump-mas.” Filled with outrage, he rushes to address the media, fixating on Donald Trump’s influence and actions. His theatrical condemnation draws attention, revealing his obsession and the relentless cycle of political engagement surrounding Trump. Continue reading ’Twas the Night Before Trump-mas

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Holidays, poetry, Satire, Washington Christmas Classics

All I Want for Christmas Is More Outrage

The parody captures a satirical Christmas wish for escalating outrage, particularly toward Donald Trump. It expresses a desire for controversy over calmness, highlighting a preference for sensational headlines and news commentary instead of traditional holiday cheer. The tone critiques media sensationalism, suggesting outrage fuels contemporary political discourse. Continue reading All I Want for Christmas Is More Outrage

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Holidays, poetry, Satire, Washington Christmas Classics

Strolling Through a Winter Wonderland

The parody of “Walking in a Winter Wonderland” features Joe Biden navigating a winter scene, humorously depicting his confusion and interactions with staff. Amidst playful chaos and comedic dialogue, he enjoys the holiday atmosphere, ultimately arriving at a peaceful retirement goal, devoid of speeches, in his winter wonderland. Continue reading Strolling Through a Winter Wonderland

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Holidays, poetry, Politics, Satire, Washington Christmas Classics

God Rest Ye, Whistleblowers

The parody song emphasizes the challenges faced by whistleblowers seeking transparency in systems resistant to scrutiny. It highlights the consequences of questioning authority, contrasting the bravery of individuals like Tina Peters with the punitive responses from powerful entities. Ultimately, it champions the importance of inquiry and accountability in governance. Continue reading God Rest Ye, Whistleblowers

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Holidays, poetry, Politics, Satire, Washington Christmas Classics

The Epstein Files Are Coming to Town

The parody of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” humorously addresses the release of the Epstein files, highlighting their significance with unsealed exhibits detailing connections and flight logs. It underscores the media frenzy, legal implications, and public reactions, revealing the tension surrounding the names involved and the lack of definitive proof. Continue reading The Epstein Files Are Coming to Town

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment