Category: State vs. Federal Politics

absurd politics, Congress, Congress & Power, Government, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

Mark Kelly’s Bold Plan to Fix Driving: Ban Driver’s Licenses

Senator Mark Kelly (D-AZ) has introduced legislation to ban driver’s licenses, arguing they hinder driving more than actual obstacles like traffic. Supporters claim it promotes equity, but critics warn it may lead to further deregulation. The proposal challenges conventional safety norms, ultimately suggesting a radical shift in driving responsibility and regulation. Continue reading Mark Kelly’s Bold Plan to Fix Driving: Ban Driver’s Licenses

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absurd politics, Minnesota, Politics, State, State & Local, State vs. Federal Politics

Amy Klobuchar Announces She’s Ready to Finish the Job on Minnesota

Amy Klobuchar has announced her candidacy for governor of Minnesota, emphasizing “steady leadership” while critics label her approach as lacking accountability. Her campaign platform prioritizes expanding failed policies and dismissing voter concerns. Observers describe her as a continuation of current governance, characterized by institutional inertia and unyielding political niceness. Continue reading Amy Klobuchar Announces She’s Ready to Finish the Job on Minnesota

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absurd politics, Elections, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Maryland Democrats Stage Luxury Cage Match as Trone and McClain Delaney Fight Over Who Is More Relatable to People Who Own Zero Yachts

The Maryland Democratic primary between multimillionaires David Trone and April McClain Delaney highlights a contentious battle devoid of substantive policy. Both candidates exhibit an aversion to genuine voter engagement, focusing instead on accusations of authenticity. The election epitomizes a party more concerned with elite fundraising than addressing working-class issues. Continue reading Maryland Democrats Stage Luxury Cage Match as Trone and McClain Delaney Fight Over Who Is More Relatable to People Who Own Zero Yachts

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
New York, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

Hakeem Jeffries: The Boy Who Flew Away From Responsibility

Hakeem Jeffries, a Brooklyn-born politician, is criticized for evading responsibility and failing to address real issues. Dubbed “Dumbo” due to his tendency to vanish when accountability arises, his leadership style is characterized by vague rhetoric and detachment. Instead of confronting problems, he focuses on surface-level concerns, leaving taxpayers disappointed. Continue reading Hakeem Jeffries: The Boy Who Flew Away From Responsibility

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, California, Health & Medical, Politics, Satire, Series, State vs. Federal Politics

GAGGING GAVIN: Newsom Hospitalized After Attempting to “Out-Cringe the Internet” With a Tide Pod

California Governor Gavin Newsom was hospitalized after attempting to eat a Tide Pod in a misguided effort to boost his TikTok presence. The stunt, initiated by his staff to appeal to younger audiences, prompted emergency services after he gagged and attempted to frame it as a metaphor. Despite public backlash, aides defended the act as performance art. Continue reading GAGGING GAVIN: Newsom Hospitalized After Attempting to “Out-Cringe the Internet” With a Tide Pod

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Donald Trump, immigration, Minnesota, Politics, Satire, State, State & Local, State vs. Federal Politics

BREAKING: After Trump Call, Jacob Frey Immediately Deported to El Salvador Under New ‘Say It, Mean It’ Policy

Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey was humorously depicted as deported to El Salvador after tweeting about immigration following a call with Donald Trump. His comment was mistaken for a request for action, triggering his removal under a new federal initiative. The incident underscores the clash between symbolic governance and literal enforcement in politics. Continue reading BREAKING: After Trump Call, Jacob Frey Immediately Deported to El Salvador Under New ‘Say It, Mean It’ Policy

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Maryland, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity

Senator Angela Alsobrooks’ Bold New Platform:

Senator Angela Alsobrooks has adopted a governing approach that mirrors Chris Van Hollen’s policies unless directed otherwise by out-of-state donors, streamlining decision-making at the expense of local concerns. Critics argue this outsourcing diminishes representation, while supporters claim it enhances efficiency, providing voters with predictable but donor-influenced political stances. Continue reading Senator Angela Alsobrooks’ Bold New Platform:

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absurd politics, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Maryland Democrats Unveil Bold New Governing Strategy: “If We Yell About ICE Loud Enough, Maybe No One Will Check Their Electric Bill”

Maryland Democrats have adopted a distraction strategy, focusing on issues like immigration cooperation with ICE rather than addressing the state’s fiscal mismanagement. Amid rising electric bills and a $1.4 billion deficit, lawmakers emphasize cultural issues and redistricting to divert attention from the real economic crises facing residents. Continue reading Maryland Democrats Unveil Bold New Governing Strategy: “If We Yell About ICE Loud Enough, Maybe No One Will Check Their Electric Bill”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Government Dysfunction, immigration, Maryland, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Sen. Van Hollen Horrified to Learn Illegal Immigrants May Not Be Receiving Luxury Resort Experience in Baltimore

Sen. Chris Van Hollen is demanding answers regarding the treatment of illegal immigrants in federal custody, expressing concern over their lack of luxury amenities. Critics argue his focus on migrants neglects pressing issues for American citizens. A proposed “Margaritas for Migrants” bill aims to address this perceived humanitarian crisis humorously. Continue reading Sen. Van Hollen Horrified to Learn Illegal Immigrants May Not Be Receiving Luxury Resort Experience in Baltimore

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Minnesota, parody, Politics, Satire, Series, State, State vs. Federal Politics

Governor Warren Walz Loses It Again After Someone Touches the Headphones of Power

Minnesota’s Governor Tim Walz experienced a bizarre outburst when approached about his headphones, referred to as The Headphones of Authority™. Witnesses reported his rapid transformation into a defensive figure, aggressively protecting his perceived gubernatorial powers. Analysts suggest adding a warning for press conferences, advising caution around his headphones to avoid potential meltdowns. Continue reading Governor Warren Walz Loses It Again After Someone Touches the Headphones of Power

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment