Category: democrats

Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, democrats, Habeas Circus, Judicial, Politics

Democrats Propose Banning the Dictionary After Supreme Court Confirms Words Are a Hate Crime

Democratic leaders are contemplating emergency legislation to eliminate dictionaries, deeming traditional definitions as oppressive and outdated. The proposal follows a Supreme Court discussion on women’s sports and transgender participation. Critics argue this undermines female athletes, as language reform prioritizes inclusivity over clarity, resulting in vague and fluid definitions. Continue reading Democrats Propose Banning the Dictionary After Supreme Court Confirms Words Are a Hate Crime

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Maryland’s Budget Gap Explained: Gov. Wes Moore Says It’s Basically Pokémon and Warhammer

As Maryland stares into a growing fiscal abyss, Gov. Wes Moore unveiled a bold plan to spend billions anyway — and when asked where the money would come from, he didn’t say “taxes,” “cuts,” or even “borrowing.” Instead, he talked about Pokémon cards, Warhammer battles, and trusting the lore. Economists remain confused. Gamers feel oddly seen. Continue reading Maryland’s Budget Gap Explained: Gov. Wes Moore Says It’s Basically Pokémon and Warhammer

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, New York, Overreach, Politics, Satire, Sports & Whatever, State & Local

NYC Mayor Launches “World Cup for All” Initiative — Now Hiring Ticket Fairness Officers

New York’s new mayor has taken on his boldest challenge yet: fixing World Cup ticket prices for games not even played in New York. In a week where socialism met dynamic pricing, City Hall discovered that FIFA, geography, and reality may not be subject to municipal authority. Continue reading NYC Mayor Launches “World Cup for All” Initiative — Now Hiring Ticket Fairness Officers

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State, State & Local

Governor Discovers Electricity Exists, Is Expensive

Maryland Governor Wes Moore recently acknowledged high electricity costs, framing it as a new discovery despite being in office for three years. Critics point out the state’s role in utility regulation and rate adjustments. The administration plans to address these issues through vague measures and task forces, offering little immediate relief to residents. Continue reading Governor Discovers Electricity Exists, Is Expensive

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, Elections, Minnesota, Politics

Tim Walz Drops Out of 2026 Governor’s Race to “Focus on the Children” (Specifically, the Daycare Paperwork)

In a move aides are calling “bold,” “selfless,” and “please stop asking follow-up questions,” Minnesota Governor Tim Walz announced Monday that he is dropping out of the 2026 governor’s race—and reelection entirely—to refocus his energies on what he described as “Minnesota’s most important unfinished project: daycare centers.” Not roads.Not schools.Not public safety. Daycare centers. More precisely, the governor said he plans to spend his time … Continue reading Tim Walz Drops Out of 2026 Governor’s Race to “Focus on the Children” (Specifically, the Daycare Paperwork)

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Conspiracies, democrats, Donald Trump, Government, immigration, Maryland, New York, Overreach, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics, Washington absurdity, world leaders

Van Hollen Offers Maduro a Margarita, a Maryland Address, and a Voter Registration Form

Senator Chris Van Hollen hosted a margarita summit with Venezuelan leader Nicolás Maduro, currently in federal custody. Van Hollen pitched Maryland as a welcoming place for international figures, proposing Maduro’s “symbolic residency” to allow him to vote. Critics have questioned this approach given Maduro’s legal situation, prompting varied reactions, including from Trump. Continue reading Van Hollen Offers Maduro a Margarita, a Maryland Address, and a Voter Registration Form

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Congress & Power, democrats, Politics, Washington absurdity

Breaking: Democrats Unveil New Business Model—“Oops, That Wasn’t Fraud, That Was a Program”

The Democratic Party unveiled a new governing philosophy, reframing administrative failures as “bold investments in equity.” Critics cite mismanagement of federal funds, while Democrats propose reforms and emphasize intentions over accountability. They characterize inefficiency as integral, focusing on job creation rather than results, promising to assure voters with optimistic messaging. Continue reading Breaking: Democrats Unveil New Business Model—“Oops, That Wasn’t Fraud, That Was a Program”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, democrats, New York, Politics, public safety, State & Local, Transportation, Urban Absurdity

Mayor Mamdani Rides the Revolution

New York’s newest mayor promised to govern for the people—and the subway made sure he did. When Mayor Mamdani finds himself waiting on a delayed train he now oversees, the revolution stops being theoretical and starts running local, crowded, and 47 minutes late. Continue reading Mayor Mamdani Rides the Revolution

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, California, democrats, Politics, Satire, State & Local

“Newsom Vows to ‘Fight’ Billionaire Wealth Tax — By Fundraising with Billionaires in His New $9M Mansion”

Gavin Newsom says California’s proposed wealth tax would scare off billionaires — a warning he delivered from his $9 million mansion while fundraising with the very people he claims are ready to flee. Nothing says “fight inequality” like clinking glasses with tech bros thanking him for the heads-up. Continue reading “Newsom Vows to ‘Fight’ Billionaire Wealth Tax — By Fundraising with Billionaires in His New $9M Mansion”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Congress, democrats, Government, History, Politics, Washington absurdity

Democrats Announce January 6, 2026 Hearing to Mark Fifth Anniversary of “The Vibe Shift”

House Democrats plan a solemn commemorative hearing for January 6, 2026, marking the fifth anniversary of the January 6 Capitol events, which they call a near-democratic collapse. This hearing will emphasize the importance of voting to prevent similar incidents, despite critiques of its necessity and format. Democrats assert it’s vital to remember this event annually. Continue reading Democrats Announce January 6, 2026 Hearing to Mark Fifth Anniversary of “The Vibe Shift”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment