Category: Politics

Law Enforcement, New York, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani Names FDNY Commissioner With Zero Firefighting Experience, Says ‘Lived Experience With Alarm Clocks Is Enough’

Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani promised to rethink public safety, and New York got exactly that—by naming an FDNY commissioner whose strongest qualification appears to be strong opinions and zero firefighting experience. Critics say it’s reckless. Supporters say it’s “historic.” Fires, meanwhile, remain unconvinced. Continue reading Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani Names FDNY Commissioner With Zero Firefighting Experience, Says ‘Lived Experience With Alarm Clocks Is Enough’

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Maryland, Politics, Satire, State & Local

Breaking: Wes Moore Announces Bold Redistricting Plan to Escape HOA Dues

Maryland Governor Wes Moore introduced a controversial redistricting proposal aimed at addressing homeowner association fees, claiming it promotes equity and representation. Critics argue it’s gerrymandering for personal gain, while supporters see it as innovative governance. The plan may redefine district lines to eliminate certain HOA fees for Moore’s neighborhood, sparking debate. Continue reading Breaking: Wes Moore Announces Bold Redistricting Plan to Escape HOA Dues

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Cultural Meltdowns, Politics, Satire

Breaking: Kamala Harris Allegedly Declares Herself the Great Cornholio, Demands TP on Brentwood Road

Former Vice President Kamala Harris had a chaotic moment during her book tour, reportedly yelling “I am THE GREAT CORNHOLIO” while wearing a Metallica T-shirt. Eyewitnesses noted an apparent breakdown after she mixed something extra into her wine. The incident sparked mixed reactions among political analysts regarding its impact on her image and upcoming events. Continue reading Breaking: Kamala Harris Allegedly Declares Herself the Great Cornholio, Demands TP on Brentwood Road

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Congress & Power, Politics, Satire, Washington absurdity

A Very Minority Christmas: Inside the Holiday Misery of Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries

Christmas in Washington is supposed to be festive—but for Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries, it’s a reminder of life in the minority: no gavels, no subpoenas, and no leverage. Just empty hallways, hollow decorations, and strongly worded statements echoing into the cold. Continue reading A Very Minority Christmas: Inside the Holiday Misery of Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Health & Medical, Politics, S.H.I.T.E. Paper, Satire

A Peer-Reviewed* Investigation Into Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS), Macronutrient Intake, and the Bubble Tea Variable

A groundbreaking* study published in the Journal of Scientific Hypotheses In Theoretical Environments (S.H.I.T.E.) finds a strong correlation between extreme Trump Derangement Syndrome and diets low in meat protein but high in soy products and bubble tea—raising serious questions about tofu, tapioca pearls, and the biochemical limits of political calm.
*Groundbreaking in the sense that someone finally said it out loud. Continue reading A Peer-Reviewed* Investigation Into Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS), Macronutrient Intake, and the Bubble Tea Variable

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Holidays, poetry, Politics, Satire, Washington Christmas Classics

God Rest Ye, Whistleblowers

The parody song emphasizes the challenges faced by whistleblowers seeking transparency in systems resistant to scrutiny. It highlights the consequences of questioning authority, contrasting the bravery of individuals like Tina Peters with the punitive responses from powerful entities. Ultimately, it champions the importance of inquiry and accountability in governance. Continue reading God Rest Ye, Whistleblowers

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Holidays, poetry, Politics, Satire, Washington Christmas Classics

The Epstein Files Are Coming to Town

The parody of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” humorously addresses the release of the Epstein files, highlighting their significance with unsealed exhibits detailing connections and flight logs. It underscores the media frenzy, legal implications, and public reactions, revealing the tension surrounding the names involved and the lack of definitive proof. Continue reading The Epstein Files Are Coming to Town

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
democrats, Games, Maryland, Politics, Satire, State

REAL OR FAKE: The Wes Moore Edition

“Real or Fake” is a political satire game featuring Maryland Governor Wes Moore. Contestants navigate statements about his life, questioning their truthfulness. With rounds focusing on military accolades, academic claims, and biographical discrepancies, the game emphasizes confusion and scrutiny in politics, ultimately challenging perceptions of honesty and resume embellishment. Continue reading REAL OR FAKE: The Wes Moore Edition

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Environmental, Holidays, Politics

Santa’s New Naughty List: This Year, Bad Kids Get Windmills Instead of Coal

Santa Claus has replaced traditional coal with eco-friendly punishments for misbehaving children, introducing items like windmills and solar panel kits. This shift aims to promote sustainability and environmental awareness. Reactions from kids and parents vary, with many preferring coal over the practical challenges of renewable energy gifts, despite Santa’s educational intentions. Continue reading Santa’s New Naughty List: This Year, Bad Kids Get Windmills Instead of Coal

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
California, Government, Government Waste, Politics, Satire, State vs. Federal Politics

While Trump Commissions Destroyers, Newsom Commissions Bills

Donald Trump announced the commissioning of new U.S. Navy destroyers named after him, designed to project American military power. In response, California Governor Gavin Newsom introduced a series of legislative bills targeting economic stability. While Trump focuses on defense, Newsom’s initiatives may threaten affordability for Californians, showcasing two contrasting political strategies. Continue reading While Trump Commissions Destroyers, Newsom Commissions Bills

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment