Category: Health & Medical

Health & Medical, Politics, S.H.I.T.E. Paper, Satire

A Peer-Reviewed* Investigation Into Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS), Macronutrient Intake, and the Bubble Tea Variable

A groundbreaking* study published in the Journal of Scientific Hypotheses In Theoretical Environments (S.H.I.T.E.) finds a strong correlation between extreme Trump Derangement Syndrome and diets low in meat protein but high in soy products and bubble tea—raising serious questions about tofu, tapioca pearls, and the biochemical limits of political calm.
*Groundbreaking in the sense that someone finally said it out loud. Continue reading A Peer-Reviewed* Investigation Into Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS), Macronutrient Intake, and the Bubble Tea Variable

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
democrats, Global News, Government, Health & Medical, immigration, Nationality, Satire

Citizenship-Affirming Care? Democrats Now Pushing “Legalization Surgery” for Illegal Immigrants

In a dazzling feat of medical and political innovation, Democrats have unveiled their latest passion project: citizenship-affirming care. Why bother with borders or boring paperwork when you can just inject a little U.S.A. directly into the bloodstream? While Republicans are still trying to figure out whether this is an SNL sketch or actual legislation, progressives insist this is a breakthrough in “identity-based immigration.” After all, if you feel American, why shouldn’t a government-funded operation make it official — preferably before the next election. Continue reading Citizenship-Affirming Care? Democrats Now Pushing “Legalization Surgery” for Illegal Immigrants

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment