Pyongyang’s state media has already declared victory at Milan-Cortina 2026—projecting 137 gold medals, zero bronze, and a mountain that politely lowers itself out of respect. Reality, officials say, remains under review. Continue reading Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Forecasts Glorious 137-Medal Victory at 2026 Winter Olympics Milan Cortina
Minnesota’s progressive power duo hits the road with a “countdown to caucus” tour that feels less like civic engagement and more like a masterclass in scandal-adjacent absurdity. From fake nonprofits to riot-as-distraction theatrics, this satire imagines what would happen if political spin finally stopped pretending. Continue reading Minnesota’s Dynamic Duo Hits the Road: The “Yes, We’re Guilty of Fraud – Loud and Clear!” Tour
This week in Richmond, newly sworn-in Governor Abigail Spanberger sparked chaos as hamburgers mysteriously vanished shortly after her inauguration, earning her the nickname “Hamburglar of Hard-Earned Money.” Her controversial “Spanburger Doctrine” implies confiscating edible goods as “nutritional contributions,” leaving residents bewildered and concerned about a future without safe backyard cookouts. Continue reading The Hamburglar Takes Richmond: Abigail Spanberger Sworn In, Hamburgs Immediately Missing
Sen. Chris Van Hollen is demanding answers regarding the treatment of illegal immigrants in federal custody, expressing concern over their lack of luxury amenities. Critics argue his focus on migrants neglects pressing issues for American citizens. A proposed “Margaritas for Migrants” bill aims to address this perceived humanitarian crisis humorously. Continue reading Sen. Van Hollen Horrified to Learn Illegal Immigrants May Not Be Receiving Luxury Resort Experience in Baltimore
Tim Walz, the governor of Minnesota, has faced criticism for deploying the National Guard to distribute donuts instead of restoring order during civil unrest. This response has been mocked as a shift from serious governance to a whimsical approach, where crime management is replaced by distributing snacks, raising concerns about effective leadership and public safety. Continue reading Operation Glazed Response: Tim Walz Replaces Law Enforcement With Pastry Diplomacy
Annapolis and Anne Arundel County say their snow removal crackdown is about protecting seniors and the disabled. To prove it, they’re fining those same seniors and disabled residents for failing to shovel snow they didn’t ask for, can’t lift, and definitely can’t afford to ignore. Continue reading Annapolis Declares War on Snow, Immediately Fines the Elderly and Disabled for Losing
In a move that shattered political muscle memory, Donald Trump jokingly offered citizenship to any undocumented immigrant willing to vote Republican—prompting Democrats to immediately reconsider their stance on ICE, borders, and everything they tweeted in the last decade. Continue reading Trump Announces ‘Vote Red, Get a Green Card’ Program, Democrats Immediately Call ICE for Tips
Governor Tim Walz and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey have faced criticism for treating public safety as a messaging exercise, leading to increased crime. Their reluctance to cooperate with federal law enforcement has created confusion and negligence, prioritizing political ideology over effective governance while leaving communities vulnerable to violent crime. Continue reading When Local Egos Block Federal Badges
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