Category: Culture & Absurdity

absurd politics, Culture & Absurdity, Sports & Whatever

Stephen A. Smith Announces 2028 Presidential Run, Vows to “Fix This Nation the Same Way I Fixed the Knicks”

Stephen A. Smith is considering a 2028 presidential run, showcasing his trademark debate style. He criticizes both major parties, suggesting bold, unorthodox policies, like replacing the State of the Union with a monologue and demanding accountability from Congress. His outsider status and intense delivery could revolutionize political debates, captivating audiences nationwide. Continue reading Stephen A. Smith Announces 2028 Presidential Run, Vows to “Fix This Nation the Same Way I Fixed the Knicks”

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Politics

Bernie Sanders Declares War on the Thin Mint Industrial Complex

During a grocery store visit, Bernie Sanders passionately criticized the Girl Scouts for their cookie sales, claiming they represent a monopolistic system. He proposed reforms like a price cap and a Senate investigation. Despite his fervor, the scouts remained unfazed, ultimately benefiting from record sales, as Sanders left with cookies for the “movement.” Continue reading Bernie Sanders Declares War on the Thin Mint Industrial Complex

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Arts & Entertainment, Bach's Boombox, Celebrity, Culture & Absurdity, Sports & Whatever

Creed Announces They Will Be the 2027 Super Bowl Halftime Show, NFL Learns About It on Social Media

Creed boldly announced they will perform at the 2027 Super Bowl halftime show, despite the NFL not selecting a performer. The announcement sparked widespread joy in rural America, with fans expressing emotional support. The NFL is still processing the surprise declaration, sensing its inevitability, as Creed outlines an already planned setlist. Continue reading Creed Announces They Will Be the 2027 Super Bowl Halftime Show, NFL Learns About It on Social Media

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Satire, Sports & Whatever

SEATTLE CELEBRATES SUPER BOWL BY SPEED-RUNNING CIVILIZATION

Following the Seattle Seahawks’ Super Bowl victory, Mayor Katie Wilson infamously ordered the release of prisoners, sparking chaotic celebrations throughout the city. What began as a joyous event devolved into mayhem, prompting a reevaluation of criminal justice reform strategies. Officials assured future celebrations would be more organized and controlled. Continue reading SEATTLE CELEBRATES SUPER BOWL BY SPEED-RUNNING CIVILIZATION

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Culture & Absurdity, Democrazy, Maryland, Satire, Sports & Whatever

Governor Wes Moore Recalls Glory Days With Jamaican Bobsled Team, Prepares for Olympic Hall of Fame Induction

Maryland Gov. Wes Moore takes a victory lap down memory lane, recalling his “legendary” run with the Jamaican bobsled team at the Salt Lake City Olympics—an experience he says perfectly prepared him for the downhill thrills of modern governance. Continue reading Governor Wes Moore Recalls Glory Days With Jamaican Bobsled Team, Prepares for Olympic Hall of Fame Induction

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Maryland

Maryland Enters Five-Alarm Crisis After Governor Suggests State Flag May Be… Complicated

Maryland has declared a state of emergency following Governor Wes Moore’s comments labeling the state flag a “contradiction.” This remark sparked outrage among residents, leading to chaotic online reactions and conspiracy theories, with many vowing to defend the flag at all costs. Despite the uproar, the flag remains unchanged and proudly displayed. Continue reading Maryland Enters Five-Alarm Crisis After Governor Suggests State Flag May Be… Complicated

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Protests, Satire

American Education’s Greatest Success Story: Kids Who Can’t Read—but Can Shut Everything Down

American schools have shifted focus from essential academic skills to protest activism, resulting in students who are proficient in chanting but struggle with reading, math, and writing. This transformation has led to schools resembling activist boot camps, neglecting literacy and practical skills, ultimately leaving graduates unprepared for the demands of the real world. Continue reading American Education’s Greatest Success Story: Kids Who Can’t Read—but Can Shut Everything Down

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Bach's Boombox, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, immigration

Ice, Ice, Outrage: The GRAMMYs Melt Down in Real Time

At the Grammy Awards, the shocking failure of ice machines sparked chaos among attendees. Bad Bunny and Billie Eilish highlighted the crisis through their poignant performances, while Jelly Roll flaunted his ice supply, prompting outrage. Hosts struggled to manage the situation, and the event underscored the need for “Ice Equity” in Hollywood. Continue reading Ice, Ice, Outrage: The GRAMMYs Melt Down in Real Time

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
absurd politics, Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Politics, State vs. Federal Politics

Black History Month, Presented by the Democratic Opposition Research Committee

Black History Month has shifted from celebrating historical achievements to being a political tool for Democrats, often framing historical figures as weapons against Republicans. There’s a loss of nuance in understanding Black history, as it becomes a platform for partisan messaging, reduced to sound bites while real substance is overlooked. Continue reading Black History Month, Presented by the Democratic Opposition Research Committee

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment
Cultural Meltdowns, Culture & Absurdity, Protests

Breaking: Thousands Protest After Being Excluded From Epstein Files—Again

Thousands of activists protested in Washington, demanding recognition and inclusion in the recent Jeffrey Epstein document release. Claiming systemic exclusion and a denial of their lived experiences, they presented various demands, including a government apology and a Netflix series about their potential involvement. Protesters vowed to continue their demonstrations until acknowledged. Continue reading Breaking: Thousands Protest After Being Excluded From Epstein Files—Again

Unknown's avatarMichael PhillipsLeave a comment