ANNAPOLIS, MD — A bombshell social media post this week has finally confirmed what at least three people with eagle emojis in their bios have known since 2022: Maryland Governor Wes Moore was not elected — he was assembled.
According to an anonymous X account named “Tracey” (blue check included, which legally makes everything true), Moore was allegedly “created in a political lab” by Oprah Winfrey, George Soros, and Barack HUSSEIN Obama — a detail emphasized in all caps for maximum forensic credibility.
Experts say this discovery could shake the very foundations of Maryland politics, or at least the comment section under every post.
Inside the Alleged Political Lab
Sources familiar with the conspiracy (mostly unverified YouTube thumbnails) claim Moore was grown in a state-of-the-art underground facility where Democratic governors are engineered for maximum charisma, optimal nonprofit résumé density, and the ability to say “let’s be clear” without blinking.
Witnesses report the lab includes:
- A hologram room where candidates practice inspirational TED Talk pacing
- A dial labeled “Presidential Ambition” set permanently to 2028
- A chamber that auto-generates bipartisan talking points and perfectly timed press conferences
When reached for comment, Oprah Winfrey reportedly said, “You get a governor! You get a governor! Everybody gets a governor!” before vanishing into a puff of centrist messaging.
Maryland: Just a “Stepping Stone”?
The viral claim suggests Maryland was merely a “stepping stone” to the White House — a shocking revelation considering nearly every governor in America has, at some point, quietly Googled “how to run for president without looking thirsty.”
Political scientists confirm this is standard behavior among ambitious elected officials.
“Historically speaking, governors occasionally aspire to higher office,” said Dr. Linda Ramirez, Professor of Obvious Political Patterns. “The real story here is that someone thinks this requires a cloning facility.”
The 2028 Panic Button
The real fear, insiders say, is that Moore’s alleged presidential trajectory is being activated remotely from the lab.
“We’ve seen the signs,” said one concerned X user. “The speeches. The media coverage. The normal political ambition. Classic lab-grown behavior.”
Critics also point to the governor’s suspicious ability to complete full sentences without caps lock — long considered a red flag among digital patriots.
BREAKING: IKEA Denies Basement Biotech Wing
After rumors swirled that Moore’s prototype phase took place behind an IKEA in Northern Virginia (next to the Swedish meatball freezer), corporate representatives issued a statement clarifying:
“We only assemble furniture. Governors are beyond our current tool set.”
Political Reality Check
While some Maryland voters are debating lab origins, others are focused on slightly more mundane matters like taxes, infrastructure, crime, schools, and whether anyone in government — grown or natural-born — plans to fix any of it.
Political analysts note that whether Moore is a lab creation or simply a charismatic, ambitious politician, Maryland residents appear far more concerned with results than with sci-fi backstories.
Still, the “political lab” theory continues to trend, proving once again that in 2026 America, the only thing stronger than policy disagreements is a well-timed all-caps tweet.
In Conclusion
Was Wes Moore engineered in a Soros-funded incubator?
Was Maryland merely a pre-installed software update?
Is 2028 the next firmware rollout?
Or… is this just another week on the internet?
At press time, the “political lab” was reportedly pivoting to produce a bipartisan robot capable of fixing the Potomac Interceptor without a 30-day communications blackout. Early tests are promising.
Stay tuned.
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