WASHINGTON — In a stunning act of self-preservation, Eric Swalwell and Adam Schiff have reportedly requested a “legislative carve-out” from the proposed SAVE Act after aides informed them it could establish a dangerous new precedent: requiring proof that someone is eligible — and possibly present — before their vote counts.
The SAVE Act, which would require proof of U.S. citizenship to register for federal elections, has drawn national attention. But inside the Capitol, sources say Swalwell and Schiff are focused on a more personal question:
“If voters have to verify who they are, are we next?”
According to internal memos accidentally printed on recycled fundraising emails, both offices fear the bill could inspire what one staffer called “a culture of verification.”
“That’s how it starts,” the aide warned. “First it’s proof of citizenship, including in the state in which you reside. Then it’s proof you were actually in the chamber. Then it’s proof you read the bill.”
Attendance Anxiety on the Hill
The concern reportedly escalated after a junior staffer floated a hypothetical scenario in which future reforms might require lawmakers to physically respond during roll call instead of relying on strategic timing, scheduling conflicts, or “previously scheduled cable democracy emergencies.”
Swalwell is said to have asked, “Wait — like… in person?”
Schiff reportedly requested clarification on whether appearing via dramatic press conference outside the Capitol would qualify as “functionally present.”
“It’s about access,” a spokesperson explained. “We support secure elections. We just want to make sure members of Congress aren’t disenfranchised by outdated concepts like proximity.”
The Proxy Voting Memorial Fund
Both lawmakers are now allegedly exploring the creation of a bipartisan commission to preserve what they call “the rich tradition of interpretive attendance.”
A draft resolution titled The Attendance Equity and Flexibility Restoration Act would:
- Define “present” as “emotionally aligned with the outcome”
- Allow votes to be cast via strongly worded tweet
- Permit cable news segments to count as quorum participation
- Recognize eye contact with the Capitol dome as symbolic civic engagement
An early whip count shows strong support from members currently “traveling on urgent matters.”
A Slippery Slope Toward Responsibility
Critics argue the SAVE Act has nothing to do with congressional voting procedures. But that hasn’t stopped the panic.
One Hill staffer summarized the fear: “If the American people get used to the idea that voting requires documentation and accountability, they might apply that logic… upward.”
Both lawmakers have denied skipping votes intentionally, emphasizing that democracy requires flexibility, narrative framing, and strategic absence.
“Showing up is a spectrum,” one ally clarified. “Physical presence is just one form of civic expression.”
Democracy Is Safe (As Long As It’s Convenient)
At press time, Swalwell and Schiff were reportedly drafting a joint letter warning that any law which “creates barriers to voting” must be examined carefully — especially if those barriers include alarm clocks, Capitol metal detectors, or the concept of being there.
A final line in the draft reads:
“No American — including a member of Congress — should be burdened by excessive verification when participating in the democratic process.”
The SAVE Act may move forward.
But in Washington, the real fight continues:
Protecting democracy from attendance.
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