MINNEAPOLIS — Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey was reportedly deported to El Salvador on Monday afternoon after making the catastrophic mistake of publicly saying the quiet part out loud in a tweet following a phone call with Donald Trump.
In the now-infamous post, Frey praised immigrants, thanked Trump for the conversation, and concluded that “the present situation can’t continue”—a sentence federal officials later confirmed was interpreted as a formal request for immediate operational clarification.
“Words matter,” said a senior administration official, tapping the tweet printed out in 48-point font. “Especially when you accidentally say the policy trigger phrase.”
From Sanctuary Mayor to Case Study
Sources say the deportation happened so fast that Frey skipped the usual progressive steps of denial, press conference, and blaming the federal government.
“One minute he was drafting a follow-up tweet about compassion,” said a City Hall aide. “The next minute ICE showed up with a laminated copy of his tweet and a highlighter.”
Officials reportedly informed Frey that under the new federal doctrine—If You Say It Can’t Continue, We Will Help It Stop—he would be participating in a hands-on cultural exchange program abroad.
‘Operation Metro Surge’: Now Featuring Irony
The administration confirmed that Frey’s deportation fell under Operation Metro Surge, described as “a targeted enforcement initiative designed to help local leaders better understand the consequences of mixed messaging.”
“Mayors love immigration in theory,” a spokesperson explained. “We’re just making sure they love it in practice. Somewhere else. Briefly.”
Arrival in El Salvador
Upon landing, Frey allegedly asked customs officials where he could find the nearest NPR affiliate and whether there was a task force he could chair.
“They told him this was not a conference,” said a source familiar with the interaction. “It was reality.”
Frey was last seen attempting to explain Minneapolis zoning reform to a confused taxi driver while drafting a Medium post titled ‘What Deportation Taught Me About Dialogue.’
Minneapolis Reacts
Back home, City Council members released a joint statement praising Frey’s “courageous willingness to live his values,” while quietly scrubbing their own Twitter accounts of any sentence containing the words federal, can’t, or continue.
A hastily scheduled press conference was canceled after staff realized no one knew which country the mayor was currently in.
Experts Weigh In
Political analysts say the incident highlights a growing trend in American politics: symbolic governance colliding with literal enforcement.
“For years, politicians have spoken in vibes,” said one analyst. “This administration governs in verbs.”
Final Update
As of press time, Frey was reportedly cleared to return to the United States after agreeing to a new communications protocol requiring all future tweets to be reviewed by:
- a lawyer
- a policy analyst
- and one brutally honest person willing to ask, ‘Do you want this taken seriously?’
The mayor is expected to resume duties tomorrow, pending customs clearance and a mandatory seminar titled:
“Posting Is a Form of Policy.”
This article is satire. No mayors were actually deported—only the illusion that words don’t have consequences. actual deportations, policies, or reality is purely coincidental—and should probably stay that way.
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