In a bold new push for wintertime accountability, Annapolis and Anne Arundel County have announced a tough new crackdown on snow removal compliance. The message is clear: clear your sidewalks within 24 hours—or else.
Who is “or else,” you ask?
Primarily old people.
And the disabled.
You know—the ones the policy is allegedly designed to protect.
Officials insist the enforcement effort is about “safety and accessibility,” particularly for seniors and residents with disabilities. To demonstrate this commitment, the same seniors and disabled residents will now be fined for failing to shovel snow that (1) fell from the sky, (2) was not ordered by them, and (3) may be physically impossible for them to remove without violating several laws of biology.
“It’s about equity,” said one local official while standing on a perfectly shoveled sidewalk maintained by a taxpayer-funded crew. “Everyone must do their part—even those who can’t.”
Under the new rules, property owners have 24 hours after snowfall ends to clear sidewalks to city-approved standards. Failure to do so may result in fines, warnings, citations, or the deeply spiritual experience of being lectured by a clipboard.
For residents with arthritis, mobility issues, or actual wheelchairs, officials recommend a simple workaround:
Hire help.
With what money?
The money you’ll have left after heating bills, medical costs, and the fines.
Critics note that the enforcement structure appears carefully calibrated to target the people least able to comply. Able-bodied residents with snowblowers, teenage sons, or expendable income will likely skate by. Meanwhile, an 82-year-old with a walker will be cited for failing to maintain a municipal pedestrian corridor at 6:03 a.m. on Day Two.
“This is about walkability,” officials stressed, while issuing tickets that make it harder for people to afford food, medication, or—ironically—professional snow removal.
City spokespeople clarified that exceptions may exist but require navigating a paperwork process that involves online forms, medical documentation, and response times roughly equal to the duration of winter itself.
In a joint statement, officials reassured residents that enforcement will be carried out with “common sense and compassion,” which in government terms means: the fine will be smaller the first time.
Residents are encouraged to plan ahead by pre-scheduling snow removal services months in advance, monitoring hourly weather alerts, and being physically capable of shoveling frozen precipitation off public infrastructure during a cold snap.
At press time, snow had not yet been fined—but officials confirmed it is “on notice.”
Winter, after all, is no excuse for noncompliance.
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