In a move that experts are calling “bold,” “innovative,” and “a cry for help,” Google’s Waze announced Tuesday that it is adding two new navigation voices to its app: Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey and Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson.
According to Waze, the update is designed to better reflect “the modern American driving experience,” which increasingly involves confusion, detours, and being told with great confidence that you’re definitely on the right path—even when you’re not.
Mayor Frey Mode: “Remain Calm, This Is Fine”
Drivers who select Mayor Frey Mode will be gently reassured as they miss exits, circle the same block four times, and end up somewhere they never intended to be.
“Continue straight,” Frey’s voice calmly instructs, even as your car plunges into a maze of orange cones and emergency sirens. “There is no wrong turn. There is only a complex situation with multiple narratives.”
When traffic is completely stopped, Frey reportedly offers comforting affirmations such as:
- “We are actively monitoring this delay.”
- “This congestion did not happen overnight.”
- “Please understand, there are many stakeholders involved in this intersection.”
- “Get the F*ck out of my city!”
If you’re stuck in gridlock for more than 20 minutes, the app automatically blames “unforeseen circumstances” and suggests a press conference.
Justice Jackson Mode: “Let’s Define ‘Left Turn’”
Meanwhile, Justice Jackson’s navigation voice takes a more philosophical approach. Rather than issuing direct commands, the app asks you to reflect deeply on what driving means.
“At this time,” Jackson explains thoughtfully, “I’m not prepared to define what constitutes a ‘left turn.’ That determination may depend on context, perspective, and the lived experience of the vehicle.”
When approaching a roundabout, drivers receive a 90-second audio reflection on the historical evolution of circular motion, followed by a reminder that the question before you is “not whether you should exit, but whether exiting is even a coherent concept.”
Waze confirms that in Justice Jackson Mode, arrival times are listed as “undetermined,” and the destination pin may or may not exist in any legally recognizable sense.
A Perfect Fit for Modern Navigation
Google says the update reflects extensive user feedback.
“People told us they don’t want rigid directions anymore,” a Waze spokesperson said. “They want reassurance, ambiguity, and a sense that even if they’re lost, it’s somehow someone else’s fault.”
Early beta testers report the experience feels “eerily authentic,” especially in urban areas where traffic laws are more of a suggestion than a rule.
One Minneapolis driver said, “I missed my exit, ended up downtown, and the app told me this was part of a broader journey. I don’t know where I am, but I feel heard.”
Coming Soon
Waze hinted that additional voices are in development, including:
- A bureaucrat who redirects you to another department.
- A policy analyst who explains why your route is theoretically optimal despite all visible evidence.
- And a special election-year mode that changes directions every 30 seconds.
For now, drivers can enjoy the comforting knowledge that no matter how lost they get, they’ll be guided by leaders who sound absolutely certain—even as everything goes off the rails.
Waze says the update will roll out nationwide “once conditions are right,” which, much like your ETA, remains undefined.
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