ANNAPOLIS, MD — Maryland Gov. Wes Moore unveiled a bold new budget this week that spends billions of dollars the state does not currently have, does not appear to be on the way, and may only exist in the same metaphysical realm as rare Pokémon cards and miniature war armies.

When repeatedly pressed by reporters on a deceptively simple question — “Where is the money coming from?” — the governor reportedly paused, stared into the middle distance, and delivered what aides later described as “a deeply thoughtful response,” but what everyone else described as “not an answer.”

Instead, Moore began reminiscing about Pokémon.

“I think people underestimate the power of strategy,” Moore said, softly, while adjusting his tie. “In Pokémon, you don’t always know what card you’re going to draw. You just believe in the deck.”

Reporters attempted to clarify whether the state’s projected multi-billion-dollar shortfall would be resolved through new revenue, spending cuts, borrowing, or tax increases. Moore nodded politely and pivoted to Warhammer.

“Warhammer is about long-term planning,” he explained. “You move your pieces, you sacrifice units, you trust the lore. Budgets are kind of like that.”

At press time, no one was sure which unit Maryland taxpayers were supposed to be sacrificing.

The Fiscal Hole, Now a Fantasy Expansion Pack

Maryland analysts have warned of a widening structural deficit — a fiscal hole so large it now qualifies as a terrain feature. Asked whether the administration had identified a funding mechanism to support sweeping new programs, Moore responded with what witnesses described as “a low mumble about dice rolls and battlefield control.”

One aide later clarified that the governor was “speaking metaphorically.”

“He’s not literally funding the budget with Pokémon cards,” the aide said. “He’s saying the budget is aspirational. Like a campaign army you haven’t fully painted yet.”

Economists remained unconvinced.

“This is not how money works,” said one budget expert, who requested anonymity to avoid being drafted into the next Warhammer analogy. “You can’t just say ‘synergy’ and roll a 20.”

Annapolis Reacts

Legislators across the aisle reacted with a mix of confusion and concern.

“So… are we raising taxes?” asked one lawmaker.

Moore reportedly smiled and replied, “Depends if you pull a Charizard.”

Another asked whether the administration planned to cut spending.

“That’s more of a late-game strategy,” Moore said. “You don’t want to nerf yourself too early.”

By the end of the press conference, reporters confirmed that:

• No funding source had been identified
• No timeline had been provided
• A surprising number of staffers owned Warhammer figurines

A New Governing Philosophy

Supporters insist the governor is simply bringing imagination back to government.

“For too long, budgets have been about numbers,” said one ally. “This one is about vibes, imagination, and tabletop courage.”

Critics argue the state cannot balance its books on nostalgia and hobbies.

But Moore remains undeterred.

“Great leaders dream big,” he said, packing up his notes — which several observers swear were written on a Pokémon card sleeve. “Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. But you always level up.”

Maryland’s credit rating agencies were not available for comment, reportedly still Googling “Warhammer economy.”