MINNEAPOLIS — In a move described by analysts as “bold,” “deeply symbolic,” and “technically impossible,” the Minnesota Vikings announced Tuesday that they are officially canceling the remainder of their season due to ongoing upheaval in Minnesota, including fraud investigations, ICE-related protests, and what team leadership called “a general statewide vibe situation.”

The announcement comes despite the Vikings having already been eliminated from playoff contention weeks ago and their regular season having fully concluded.

“After careful consideration, we’ve decided it’s best to shut everything down,” said a team spokesperson at a press conference held in front of a purple backdrop reading SKOL, BUT LIKE… LATER. “We recognize that there are technically no games left to cancel, but in times like these, leadership means canceling anyway.”

According to the statement, the decision was influenced by “the emotional toll of reading headlines,” traffic delays caused by protests that did not affect any players directly, and “a general feeling that something, somewhere, is probably fraudulent.”

Players Reportedly Confused, Relieved

Several players were reportedly surprised to learn they were still considered “in season.”

“I thought we were already done,” said one lineman, who asked not to be named because he was halfway through a fishing trip. “But if canceling the rest of the season helps the healing process, I support it.”

Quarterbacks were said to be “evaluating their options,” which in this case means deciding whether to continue watching game film or just fully commit to ice fishing content on Instagram.

Season Ends Again, This Time Symbolically

Team executives clarified that this cancellation is not about wins or losses, but about “standing in solidarity with the concept of disruption.”

“Sure, mathematically, the season ended,” said a senior official. “But spiritually? We felt it needed to end harder.”

The Vikings also announced the cancellation of:

• Remaining practices that were not scheduled
• Hypothetical playoff games they were never eligible for
• A team meeting that already happened
• And “any vibes associated with late December football”

Fans React: “This Tracks”

Fans across Minnesota largely accepted the news without surprise.

“This is the most Vikings thing I’ve ever heard,” said one longtime supporter outside U.S. Bank Stadium. “We didn’t just miss the playoffs. We canceled the concept of continuing.”

Another fan added, “Honestly, I respect it. If you’re going to be eliminated, do it proactively.”

League Response Muted

The NFL declined to comment, though one league source was overheard saying, “They can’t cancel what doesn’t exist, but… okay.”

The Vikings concluded their announcement by assuring fans that next season remains on track, pending “weather, politics, feelings, mercury retrograde, and whatever else is going on at that time.”

As of press time, the team is reportedly considering canceling the preseason retroactively, “just to be safe.”