In a major policy breakthrough late Tuesday, Maryland officials confirmed that electricity costs money—a revelation Governor Wes Moore appears to have encountered for the first time somewhere around year three of his term.

“Utility bills have spiked over the past four years,” the governor announced, sounding less like a chief executive and more like a man discovering an unopened bill behind the toaster.

Importantly, Moore clarified that this price surge is not the fault of the state, despite the state regulating utilities, approving rate increases, designing energy policy, and appointing the regulators who regulate the regulators.

But other than that? Totally not the state.

The Stunning Discovery Phase of Governance

The revelation was immediately elevated to “breaking news” status by critics, including Maryland Delegate Mark Fisher, who summarized the moment as a delayed realization rather than a policy position.

Political analysts say the governor’s comments represent a bold new governing phase: Observation.

“It’s rare to see an administration move from campaigning directly into noticing,” said one Annapolis observer. “Usually there’s a brief stop at accountability.”

Four Years of Price Hikes, Zero Years of Responsibility

The governor emphasized that utility companies are to blame, which comes as a relief to state leaders who spent the last several years:

• Expanding renewable mandates
• Approving infrastructure surcharges
• Authorizing rate adjustments
• And congratulating themselves for doing so

Officials insist these actions are unrelated to the prices consumers now see on their bills, a coincidence described by insiders as “deeply inconvenient.”

The Plan: Vibes, Not Policy

In response, the governor announced it was “time for our utility system to work for the people,” a phrase experts recognize as political code for:

• Task forces
• Listening sessions
• Carefully phrased press releases
• And absolutely no immediate relief

Asked what specific steps would be taken, aides confirmed the administration is considering several bold options, including:

• Asking utilities to reflect
• Strongly encouraging affordability
• And possibly expressing disappointment in a formal setting

Residents Advised to Budget Better Feelings

Marylanders struggling with soaring bills were reminded that progress takes time and that awareness is the first step—especially when it arrives halfway through the job.

“We’re committed to solutions,” an official said. “Now that we’ve noticed the problem.”

At press time, the administration was reportedly looking into other troubling developments, including:

• Why groceries cost more
• Why rent keeps rising
• And whether inflation is “still a thing”

Officials expect findings on those matters shortly after the next election.