NEW YORK — In what aides described as “a bold demonstration of Maryland hospitality,” Sen. Chris Van Hollen reportedly arranged a friendly margarita summit this week with Venezuelan strongman Nicolás Maduro, currently being held in federal custody after a high-profile raid authorized by Donald Trump.

According to sources familiar with the matter, the informal gathering took place somewhere between a holding cell and a plastic visiting table in New York, where Van Hollen allegedly slid a salted rim across the table and said, “Relax. You’re among friends. Or at least future Maryland voters.”

Witnesses say the senator used the occasion to pitch Maryland as a “welcoming sanctuary jurisdiction for misunderstood international figures,” noting that the state already has robust experience with expedited residency, same-day registration vibes, and paperwork that “feels optional.”

“If you can fog a mirror in Montgomery County, we’ll get you on the rolls,” Van Hollen reportedly joked, pulling out a laminated brochure titled So You’ve Been Captured by Federal Agents: Why Maryland Is Still the Place for You.

From Cell Block to Ballot Box

Under the senator’s alleged proposal, Maduro would be invited to take up “symbolic residency” somewhere between Bethesda and Silver Spring, immediately qualifying him to vote in Maryland elections—despite, critics point out, the minor detail of being under federal indictment and physically confined to a detention facility.

Van Hollen’s staff insists the plan is “entirely consistent with Maryland values,” citing the state’s long tradition of progressive generosity, paperwork optimism, and the belief that civic participation should never be slowed by geography, nationality, or handcuffs.

ICE-Cold Margaritas, Warm Welcome

The margarita itself was described as “extra salty,” though aides dispute whether the salt came from the rim or from nearby federal prosecutors overhearing the conversation.

Maduro, for his part, reportedly expressed enthusiasm about the offer, asking whether Maryland’s voter guides were available in Spanish and whether “absentee” included “detained by the United States government.”

Trump Responds

Sources say President Trump, briefed on the situation, was “not amused” and asked aloud how a man captured in an overseas raid ended up getting cocktail hour invitations and a civics lesson.

“We raid Caracas and Maryland hands out margaritas,” Trump allegedly said. “Unbelievable. Tremendous efficiency, though.”

Maryland Officials Assure Public Nothing Is Unusual

State officials were quick to reassure residents that no rules were being broken—only “creatively interpreted.”

“This is Maryland,” one insider said. “If you’re here, or thinking about being here, or once saw a crab cake on TV, we’ll find a way to make you feel at home.”

As of press time, Maduro had not yet selected a Maryland county for residency, though sources say he is leaning toward Montgomery County “for the diversity,” while considering Baltimore “for the authentic political experience.”

A follow-up happy hour is reportedly scheduled pending approval from the Bureau of Prisons—and whether the blender clears security.