(A Joe Biden Parody of “Walking in a Winter Wonderland”)

Trees are glowing, aides are searching,
Radio calls, quiet cursing.
There he goes, wand’ring slow,
Strolling through a winter wonderland.

Gone the podium, gone the speech cards,
Lost among the Fraser firs hard.
He just smiles, waves hello,
Strolling through a winter wonderland.

In the meadow, staffers panic,
“Mr. President—sir—don’t go manic!”
He says, “C’mon, folks, I’m just fine,”
Then asks what year it is—third time.

Later on, by the hot cocoa stand,
He shakes hands with a cardboard Santa man.
Says, “Nice kid,” gives a nod,
Strolling through a winter wonderland.

He sees ornaments, starts a story,
Midway through—well, end’s not glory.
Sentence trails, thoughts derail,
Strolling through a winter wonderland.

Secret Service gently steers him,
“Sir, the exit’s over here then.”
He says, “Sure, lead the way,”
Strolling through a winter wonderland.

In the distance, Jill is waving,
Tree’s been picked, day is saving.
He arrives, mission won,
Strolling through a winter wonderland.

🎄 A peaceful retirement, lots of trees,
and absolutely no speeches required.