(A Parody of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”)

It’s beginning to look a lot like shutdown,
Everywhere you go—
From the Hill to the TSA line,
To the parks with the padlocked signs,
And the emails saying, “Wait and see, we don’t know.”

It’s beginning to look a lot like shutdown,
Promises all rerun,
With a speech and a press avail,
And a deadline set to fail,
As the cameras catch another “last-minute” stun.

A Continuing Resolution’s the gift we won’t unwrap,
While staffers pack their desks again—just in case, perhaps.
And Chuck says, “We’re so close,” with a confident frown,
Like he hasn’t said the same thing every time around.

It’s beginning to look a lot like shutdown,
Just like last week’s show,
With the blame-game carols sung,
And the talking points re-younged,
And a vote that slips past midnight—here we go.

It’s beginning to look a lot like shutdown,
So gather ‘round the tree,
Where the ornaments say “Delay,”
And the lights flicker “Maybe Today,”
And the star on top is labeled “TBD.”

When the markets sigh and the workers wait,
And the press says, “This is normal—don’t agitate,”
You can hear it in the halls of the Capitol dome:
“We’ll fix it tomorrow… after everyone’s gone home.”

It’s beginning to look a lot like shutdown,
Yes, the signs are plain to see—
Not a snowflake out of place,
Just the same old budget chase,
Merry Christmas from the Senate—again, maybe.